Guns In Bars? I Thought Virginia Was For Lovers?

The Commonwealth of Virginia is making great strides in bringing back the “good old days” – from, let’s say, the early 19^th Century.  Yes, in the state’s continuing efforts to refashion itself into a Neo-Christian, Freedom Loving, “Don’t Tread On Me,” NRA clone akin to some Wild, Wild West town where Wild Bill Hickock would feel right comfy, the state legislature has just passed a final bill that would allow concealed weapons in bars.  Not mind you, that it would force patrons to be packing, but they would have the option.  Yes, props to Virginia: freedom of choice is very much alive and well!

Now isn’t that just ducky!  So, tell me, when some VA bar patron casts suspicious glances at another guy’s wife/date/woman/whore (Oh, and there ain’t gonna be no gay guys in Virginia bars, if you get my drift!) rather than stepping outside to settle their differences with their fists they can just blow their drunken asses away with Glock 9’s.  SWEET!!  Actually, I suppose this isn’t all bad – might just reduce Virginia’s population of red-necked, dumb, cock-challenged, male idiots.  

Ah, the Commonwealth of Virginia!  Remember when Virginia Was for Lovers? Hey, stupid me – I thought they were talking about heterosexual couples – I knew it didn’t apply to same-sex couples.  After all Virginia was the state where miscegenation was illegal until 1967 when the Supreme Court struck down Virginia’s 1924 “Racial Integrity Act.”  But turns out they were talking about GUN LOVERS!!!!  Who knew?

It seems to me that the “good old boys” in Virginia have finally gone round the bend.  What kind of fucking madness is this?  Guns in bars?  That’s like pouring gasoline on an oil refinery fire.  Don’t take a genius to figure out what’s gonna happen.

So in the on-going “reformation” that has become Virginia’s statewide pole-up-the-ass obsession, will we see a return to the “good old days” when it comes to women having the right to vote?  Blacks and whites no longer able to marry?  Separate school systems?  Redlining?  Blacks as property?  Well, maybe they could legalize slavery again.  After all the state was the capital of the Confederacy.  Just love them good old days!

Well so it goes.  Life in 21^st Century America.  Nothing like those good old days.  Yeah. Right.  I’d like to stuff every single VA General Assembly Legislator – Republicans and Democrats both– into some time machine and send them back to the “good old days.”  Might take about three days and then they’d all be fighting each other to be the first to fuck the nearest donkey if it got them back to 2010.  (Sorry, this would probably qualify as animal cruelty.) But you know what I mean.  

Dumb ass mutha-fuckers.

Peace and Love,

Scott-tay