Making My Way In A World I Don't Understand

"What's The Matter With Kansas" Movie Trailer

2010-03-19T09:59:00.001-04:00

Movie Trailer If you've read

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtD8S5SnViQ

Indian Hotties

2010-03-16T22:21:00.005-04:00

Just so that you don't think I'm partial to any particular "type" I offer you the following handsome Asian Indian guys. And, yes, I do have a "thing" for Indian men although I have to say that it's not exclusive. If your heart beats more or less regularly, give me a call, OK? We just might be able to get it on!

Have a good day. And don't forget to spread the love just as far and wide as you can.

Peace and Love,

Scott-tay

THE GOP'S DIRTY WAR (Title Links To Article)

2010-03-16T12:13:00.003-04:00

During the last Presidential Primary my main sources of accurate information were Rolling Stone Magazine and The View. I had (have) given up on the New York Times and the Washington Post - they are both mere shadows of their former investigative selves when, in what has turned out to be their heydays, they exposed Watergate and published the Pentagon Papers. Now they are whimp-assed news whores without the balls to take on Fox News. And as for the other liberal media - CNN, MSNBC, etc. - I'm sorry but they seem to have fallen for this "fair and balanced" reporting bullshit while the right wing media continues on its merry way towards the destruction of this nation.

"The GOP's Dirty War" in the current issue of Rolling Stone, lays out what the Republicans have been up to since Obama's election. Not that we all didn't know it but it's nice to have it all in a single passage. What's astounding to me is that the Republicans and their tea-bagging cronies (Dick-Head Armey included) don't seem to understand that the collapse of Wall Street and our current economic disaster is the direct result of their policies over the past 30 years. And yet, and yet, they continue to shill their disastrous failed agenda. While the Wall Street guys are suing to get ALL of their promised bonuses. Ummmmm and how many people have run out of unemployment benefits? Wow. Strange times.

Have a good day.

Peace and love,

Scott-tay

HOW DO YOU START YOUR WEEK?

2010-03-08T17:08:00.003-05:00

If this was what I had booked for Monday nights it might not be so hard to get through the rest of the day! Fun or What?

Thanks to Gay Greece and NakedKombat - two great sites. Have a good Monday!

WOW! Is Re-Instituting Slavery Next In Virginia?

2010-03-06T09:26:00.000-05:00

Attorney general asks colleges to end policies that shield gays

By Rosalind S. Helderman

OK so I had no idea that my post yesterday on Virginia's General Assembly bill that would permit saloon patrons to carry concealed weapons would be followed up by Virginia's Attorney General Ken - Never-Met-A-Gay-Who-Shouldn't-Be-Castrated- Cuccinelli II asking the state's colleges and universities to end policies that protect gays from discrimination. What the fuck is in Virginia's drinking water for God's sake? We all knew about this guy before he was elected and I, for one, expected him to be anti-gay since he follows the right wing agenda to the letter, but this is just plain nuts.

A paragraph from this morning's Washington Post article:

"Official representatives of several universities, including the University of Virginia, Virginia Tech, the College of William and Mary and George Mason University, reacted cautiously to the letter, declining to comment and indicating that their governing bodies would examine the issue."

Ummmmm..... "reacted cautiously to the letter'? "their governing bodies would examine the issue"?

WTF? NO! YOU ALL SHOULD BE TELLING YOUR STUDENTS TO MARCH ON RICHMOND AND JACK THIS GUY UP! THAT'S WHAT YOU OUGHT TO BE DOING NOT "EXAMINING" THE ISSUE!!

So as I said yesterday, is the re-legalization of slavery next on Virginia's legislative agenda?

Don't know folks. This is some very strange shit.

Scott-tay

Guns In Bars? I Thought Virginia Was For Lovers?

2010-03-05T10:41:00.000-05:00

The Commonwealth of Virginia is making great strides in bringing back the “good old days” – from, let’s say, the early 19^th Century. Yes, in the state’s continuing efforts to refashion itself into a Neo-Christian, Freedom Loving, “Don’t Tread On Me,” NRA clone akin to some Wild, Wild West town where Wild Bill Hickock would feel right comfy, the state legislature has just passed a final bill that would allow concealed weapons in bars. Not mind you, that it would force patrons to be packing, but they would have the option. Yes, props to Virginia: freedom of choice is very much alive and well!

Now isn’t that just ducky! So, tell me, when some VA bar patron casts suspicious glances at another guy’s wife/date/woman/whore (Oh, and there ain’t gonna be no gay guys in Virginia bars, if you get my drift!) rather than stepping outside to settle their differences with their fists they can just blow their drunken asses away with Glock 9’s. SWEET!! Actually, I suppose this isn’t all bad – might just reduce Virginia’s population of red-necked, dumb, cock-challenged, male idiots.

Ah, the Commonwealth of Virginia! Remember when Virginia Was for Lovers? Hey, stupid me – I thought they were talking about heterosexual couples – I knew it didn’t apply to same-sex couples. After all Virginia was the state where miscegenation was illegal until 1967 when the Supreme Court struck down Virginia’s 1924 “Racial Integrity Act.” But turns out they were talking about GUN LOVERS!!!! Who knew?

It seems to me that the “good old boys” in Virginia have finally gone round the bend. What kind of fucking madness is this? Guns in bars? That’s like pouring gasoline on an oil refinery fire. Don’t take a genius to figure out what’s gonna happen.

So in the on-going “reformation” that has become Virginia’s statewide pole-up-the-ass obsession, will we see a return to the “good old days” when it comes to women having the right to vote? Blacks and whites no longer able to marry? Separate school systems? Redlining? Blacks as property? Well, maybe they could legalize slavery again. After all the state was the capital of the Confederacy. Just love them good old days!

Well so it goes. Life in 21^st Century America. Nothing like those good old days. Yeah. Right. I’d like to stuff every single VA General Assembly Legislator – Republicans and Democrats both– into some time machine and send them back to the “good old days.” Might take about three days and then they’d all be fighting each other to be the first to fuck the nearest donkey if it got them back to 2010. (Sorry, this would probably qualify as animal cruelty.) But you know what I mean.

Dumb ass mutha-fuckers.

Peace and Love,

Scott-tay

DC Same Sex Marriage Law Becomes Effective

2010-03-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

This is truly a banner day in the history of the District of Columbia. I, for one, never thought that this bill would get through the Congressional Review Period that all DC laws go through without getting waylaid. And, although I’m not a big John Roberts fan, I am pleased that the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court saw fit to deny the requested stay that Bishop Harry Jackson, pastor of Hope Christian Church in BELTSVILLE, MD (for God’s sake!) asked for. What’s important here, in my humble opinion, is that Roberts based his decision (whether the city’s gay marriage bill could be put to a public referendum) on DC’s Human Rights Act that prohibits discrimination and protects basic human rights. On the other hand, I have a feeling that even if the Same Sex Marriage Bill had been subject to a public referendum here in the city, it might have passed anyway.

On a personal note, I have two friends who were married out in California last spring while gay marriages were still legal, and they are in line today down at the DC Courthouse to get their marriage application. Way to go guys!

Also, the State of Maryland is in the process of passing a bill that would recognize same sex marriages that are legal in other jurisdictions. So maybe I’ve been too pessimistic. Things are changing I guess and I think the lines at the Court House are going to be very long for a while.

Have a good day fellow travelers!

Peace and Love,

Scott-tay.

A Letter To Our President

2010-03-01T16:25:00.002-05:00

Dear President Obama:

It’s been just over a year since your election to the highest office in the land and I for one am very disappointed. Your campaign of “Hope” and “Yes We Can” seems to have gone off track, perhaps through no fault of yours, but dangerously close to collapse on itself as those of us who desperately wanted a return to rational public policy both domestic and foreign sit in our homes and wonder how things could have gone so wrong. Health care reform is a bust, you have no cooperation in Congress for any or your proposals, and the Republican party and their right wing crazies are still controlling our national discussion about who we are and where we are heading in the future

I think the first mistake was to even posit that some “bipartisan” cooperation was the means to change the direction of the country. If you listen to the Republicans you will surely hear that they are not at all interested in moving the nation forward, progressing our social programs, legislating equal rights for LGBT Americans or mounting an energy program in order that we are less dependent on foreign energy sources.

If you listen to the Republicans what you will hear is the same ideology that the doddering icon of the Republican Party, Ronald Reagan, espoused 30 years ago. This includes the sanctity of the free market, the world primacy of the American military, the trashing of individual rights, the demeaning of American workers, the Laffer Curve economic policy (low taxes, high investment market economy), and the fact that government is basically evil. If you don’t think that these ideologies are still the Republican agenda, please take the time to listen to Sarah Palin’s speech at the Tea Bagger convention in Nashville, Tennessee. Trust me, today, March 1, 2010, you will not find any significant deviance from the Ronald Reagan philosophy of 1980.

With the election of Scott Brown in Massachusetts, the last best gimmick for achieving your agenda is lost. The so-called “iron clad” majority Democratic Senate is no more. And 2012 will only provide the ideological foundation that will ensure that nothing of your agenda will come to pass. The Republicans and their conservative right wing crazies, do not care about how Americans are faring economically, or socially, or culturally. They only care about their free market, laissez faire, government is bad, leave it to the private sector, ideology despite the fact that the past 30 years since the election of the right wing god Ronald Reagan has been a total failure.

America ranks 34 the in health care delivery (even if it’s 24^th or 14^th is this what we should accept?), our public education system is a total failure – our high school graduates rank “piss-poor” in science and math, our families have less disposable income today than they had 30 years ago. As a world power we continue to wield the big stick yet sink lower and lower on the scale of nations admired by other nations. Is this success? No, I think not. And yet to hear the right wing pundits and legislators one would think that we only need to adopt their policies and we would reach nirvana.

Yeah, and Christ is coming down tomorrow to cure the world of all its ill and reward the faithful. At least for those who believe. This is not public policy or public governance. It is simply madness. It is not the America that I want.

I’m sorry Mr. President, but it ain’t gonna happen by chance. Unless you take the proverbial bull by the horns and tell all these crazies to go straight to hell we are going to continue to drift toward an intolerant, fascist, un-American country from which none of us will emerge unscathed.

Sincerely,

Scott Sorg

What The Fuck Has Happened To Us?

2010-02-24T11:54:00.003-05:00

Have You Been Fucked Over Enough Yet?????

As a nation have we become so scared (or pussy-whipped?) that we can no longer envision a future for us that is different from the mean-spirited, racist, homophobic atmosphere that we are living in today? I say this, because I lived through a time in this country (yes, the 1960’s) when we thought there was nothing that we couldn’t achieve as a nation, as a culture, as a people if we wanted it enough and worked hard enough at it. And maybe I’m just too pessimistic since I live in DC where all the fucking right wing crazy types are so often in my face yelling and screaming their nonsensical, vitriolic, hateful shit. Maybe.

But all across this nation people are worse off then they were 30 years ago. Think about. You might remember Phyllis Schaffley from the Eagle Forum (or whatever the hell it’s called) going on and on about how woman should stay home and take care of the kiddies, wax the kitchen floor twice a week and fuck the husband three times a week? (Or was it wax three times, fuck hubby twice? – whatever! Maybe they don’t know the difference.) You don’t hear this bullshit anymore do you? And normally one would think this is a good thing. But the reason why women aren’t exhorted to stay at home anymore is because they CAN’T! They have to work. Why? Because family incomes have actually declined over the past 30 years. Using the Bureau of Labor Statistics Inflation Calculator, if your family income was $50,306 in 1980 the same family would have to earn $132,229 in 2009 in order to have the same purchasing power. Tell me, how many families have had this kind of increase?

The US ranks somewhere in the mid-30’s when it comes to health care outcomes compared to other countries. The majority of our high school graduates (majority means greater than 50% for those of you who graduated in the past 10 years) don’t even know that there are two houses of Congress. Obesity is a huge health problem. Our children get inaccurate, harmful information about sex, sexuality, birth control, abortion, etc. (Am I the only one who thinks we were all better off when these topics just weren’t discussed and we had to figure it out for ourselves! Yeah, you remember – we had to do our own “hands on” research!)

What the fuck have we done to ourselves? Just how in hell has this happened? Well if you believe the Republican establishment’s hype, it is because we liberals with our free-love, big government, regulation is a good thing, philosophies have conspired to infiltrate the country’s very core and “Satanized” our entire culture through and through. Just look at Hollywood. Just look at the New York Times. Just look at all the smut on television. Logo, for example. Yeah, we liberals have certainly become all powerful if “under the radar” so to speak. Or is that under the “Gaydar?”

Such crap and bullshit. I am so fucking tired of hearing all this claptrap. For the past 30 years Republicans have been denigrating liberal values, progressive public policy, and compassionate government while they have been in charge. (This includes the 8 years of the Clinton Administration since, if you recall, Newt – “ditch your wife while she’s in hospital dying of cancer” – Gingrich was pushing the “Contract for America” and Congress was controlled by Republicans). Never doubt it – Republicans were in charge! (Does Monica Lewinsky ring any bells?)

And all we have to show for it is MASSIVE FAILURE! From top to bottom, from beginning to end and do not get me started about that fucking idiot George Bush and his stupid war in Iraq where our men and woman are still dying and Iraq is still a basket case. Domestically and internationally we have suffered as a society from the ideologically driven Republican agenda DESPITE the latest economic meltdown, DESPITE the mess our public educational system has become, DESPITE the fact we have NOT found Osama bin Laden.

All this while the Republicans and their tea-bagging allies go on and on about how we have to curb big government (Bush anyone? Last time the government actually decreased in size was during Clinton’s terms), cut taxes (yes so the rich can get richer and the poor poorer!), reduce government regulation (Wall Street collapse anyone?) And it goes on and on and on and on and on and on.

I’m not happy with Obama. He’s still calling for bi-partisanship while the Republicans have not lifted a finger to assist in the now-botched health care reform effort. Why? Because ideologically they are against government intervention. Well, fine, just let people continue to die because they can’t afford health insurance or their insurance company won’t cover them. I mean seriously, bipartisanship? No, I don’t think so and our President had better stop tilting at this particular windmill because IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN! EVER! It seems that the Republicans would rather see the country on its knees just as long as they can blame the liberals and progressives for it.

This has to come to and end, and it will. But I’m very scared that it’s going to end badly and most Americans will suffer greatly from the continuing idiocy of the Republican Party. On the other hand, it seems to me that we’ve been Fucked Over by the Republicans and their dumb tea bagging birther types and I’ve had enough. As for me, FUCK THEM! NOW! Dumb-ass shits that they are.

Peace and Love To My Fellow Satanic Liberals!

Scott-tay

PS: I’ve included the pics just to make sure that I don’t overly depress my few readers. I mean, hell, the country may be going down the tubes but there are still hot guys out there who need us! Or at least I hope so!!

FURRY WHITE GUYS

2010-02-23T14:10:00.002-05:00

Could have used one of these guys to keep me warm during the snow!

Peace and Love

Scott-Tay

THE ODD COUPLE OR ROOMIE LOVE

2010-02-22T21:17:00.002-05:00

My roommate and I have been living together for almost three years now and I’m beginning to worry that we’ve become way too “domestic” for our own good. As is his normal routine, this past weekend he was up in Boston for class. Typically, he uses National Airport which is a short METRO ride from our apartment, but this time he was coming back through BWI Airport (officially “Thurgood Marshall Baltimore Washington International Airport”). He went up late Friday and was coming back Saturday afternoon. He called me about noon on Saturday and said he was going to get his haircut and then out to Logan at 3:00 to catch his flight home (through Philadelphia) and would probably be back at about 6:30 or 7PM. BWI is the least convenient of our three airports if you live in Downtown DC like we do.

Well, he hadn’t sounded all that great – I had helped him study for his anatomy test and he wasn’t sure he did all that well. (And props where props are due – this semester he’s got a very solid B+ average so far!) Not that I wondered why – I mean do you have any idea what the lateral fissure process is? Yeah, I thought so. Well you have one. It’s the cranial crack that runs across the top of your skill from one ear to the other. Yes, I know probably way to much information but if I have to suffer through this you can too.

Anyway, I was basically recovering from a series of gin and tonics (or shouldn’t it be “gins” and tonic?) from Friday night and wasn’t doing all that much. So I thought I would make him a good dinner knowing he would be cranky and tired by the time he arrived home. We had a couple of Cornish game hens in the freezer so I thawed them out, marinated them in a Tuscan Lemon marinade courtesy of Ina Garten, threw together some cornbread stuffing, roasted some potatoes with Rosemary and garlic and I was going to do some fresh green peas with caramelized onions and mushrooms. But as I was cooking the onions, it occurred to me that my roomie either loved or detested peas. Couldn’t recall which one it was. By this time, it was about 5:00 and I figured he’d be in Philly shortly so I texted him. And sure enough about 10 minutes later I get a text back “I HATE peas”. So no peas.

When he got to Baltimore he called me – mainly to bitch about how the MARC trains weren’t running and I mentioned that I was making dinner for him. “Why you doing that?” he asked. “Well, I just thought that after a rough day you would appreciate some good home cooking” And right there I stopped. WTF? Waaaaaay too domestic!!! My God, had it come to this? Were we becoming some sort of odd couple? Or had it already happened? Shit!!! So I said to him “Look, I wasn’t doing anything and got bored, OK, so I thought I would cook. That’s all.” He laughed. “You are special, aren’t you.” Of course he meant “Special” as in “Especially White Weird” like, as he puts it, all my “cousins” who run around in the dead of winter in shorts and flip flops. (Yes, sometimes it is VERY embarrassing to be white!)

But I know him. By the time he got back home at 9:30 he was in meltdown mode. As he was putting his things away I quietly went into the kitchen and made plates for the two of us. And I have to say everything turned out like it should – Cornish game hens nice and brown on top and tender and juicy inside, cornbread stuffing just right not too dry not to moist, roasted potatoes crunchy on the outside, and the caramelized onions and mushrooms, well not meaning to brag, but it was to die for. He thought so too. But then he does love mushrooms.

As we were eating in the living room watching some Olympics stuff, he looks at me and says “You know I can taste the love that went into dinner. You are special.”

Awwwwww – and need you ask why I love the man?

Peas and love!

Scott-tay

TYSON BECKFORD: STILL HOT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!

2010-02-14T08:05:00.002-05:00

I know you've all probably seen this picture before, maybe Again, and Again, and Again if you're like me. But I have to say that for a 40 year old man, Mr. Beckford still rings my chimes. In fact I think he's even sexier today than he was during his prime modeling years. I don't need to know how tall he is, what color his eyes are, his weight, chest measurements, dick size, food preferences, favorite color, astrological sign, his IQ, or if he's gay, straight or humps trees - IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!

And not that I care mind you, but does anyone have any pics that continue where this one ends?

Have a good day!

Peace and Love.

Scott-tay

YOU ARE ALL GOING TO ROT IN HELL!

2010-02-13T18:48:00.008-05:00

This, as I’m sure you all know, is the epithet that the religious right wing-nut jobs – and others – are constantly throwing in our faces as divine retribution for our sin of loving other men. It’s true that the Bible does condemn sex between men, but I’m thinking this was just a reaction to the Greco-Roman acceptance of same-sex sex that lusciously pervades the literature of both cultures. An effort, let’s say, not unlike our current right-wing family values organizations who condemn us all over the place in every venue they possibly can. And they seem to have no end of outlets for their vitriol.

But when you really look at the punishments for moral lapses contained in the Bible such as being stoned to death for eating shellfish (shrimp, lobster, crabs, etc.) or for having sex with someone’s else’s wife and many, many more, (Biblical passages, NOT wives!) it’s all a bit harsh. Same goes for the “it is an abomination to lay with another man” and similar interpretations of Leviticus and other passages in the Bible presumably condemning homosexuality.

So how can you come to terms with the very strong, Biblically based, moral strictures that our culture inculcates us with from the moment of our birth? Well this may come as a surprise to some of you, (not, I know, to my roommate) but I honestly haven’t a clue. I ditched religion at the age of 13. It was the first time I had ever seen my mother cry and she had just come back from a “counseling” session with our pastor. My brother, 5 years my senior, was somewhat of a rebel and was always in trouble with school officials, neighbors, the Boy Scouts, our father and virtually every other authority figure imaginable. Oh yeah, and he got a cheerleader pregnant when he was 16. But this time he had really crossed the line by robbing a local convenience store of the $12 in their cash register. (There were no weapons involved – he did tell me that he had a coke bottle in his coat pocket that the owner assumed was a gun). So my mother, at wits end, had gone to our pastor seeking his advice on what to do. His response: “Forget about him.” Like my mother, I was shocked, hurt and angry and although I had been a faithful churchgoer until then, I never went back from that day on.

So since turning my back on religion as a young, hurt and angry teenager, I’ve spent much of my life creating what I would call a personal religion. And, yes, I suppose this isn’t “kosher” in the accepted scheme of all things religious but I had to do something. I have to say though, that I'm at peace with my simplistic, unadorned, ad-hoc creation that I like to call my "personal spiritual fuzzy bubble." Hopefully a pathway to forgiveness and redemption should I ever need such, but who knows. I'm as much in the dark about all of this as most of us who might be called non-believers in the arena of organized religion. I’ve never really “codified” my personal spiritual belief system, but there are a few basic precepts that I’ve tried to follow. These include (but are not necessarily limited to - it is a work in progress after all!) the following:

Do no harm to yourself or anyone else if at all possible.

God is real, within each of us, and it is our task to find him/her/it.

Love is the ground of all being and it is God’s love that we all seek.

No religion has all the answers but we can learn from all religions. (Ancient belief systems - Egyptian, Native American, African, Asian – are worth learning about).

Heaven and hell are right here on earth and it is we who create both.

Help everyone you can in whatever way you can because there is nothing else that better reflects what God wants us to do with our lives on earth.

Do not be judgmental – none of us have lived our lives without transgression.

Everything is connected to everything else and our actions affect others so try your best to be kind, generous, compassionate and loving in all that you do.

So that’s about it. I do try but it ain’t easy. As for being condemned to Hell? Hey, how many people do you know who have suffered so much hell right here on earth? Haven’t we all in one way or another? I should think that if there is some sort of afterlife, some sort of “other” cosmic or spiritual realm post-brain-wave stoppage, a heaven or a hell to which our souls are sent – we all deserve a peaceful paradise where we can “live” without fear, without condemnation and within the warm embrace of God’s love.

Peace and love my brothers and sisters.

Scott-tay

A LIttle Latin Heat On A Cold Winter's Day

2010-02-11T07:40:00.003-05:00

Because of all the snow we've had over the past week, and the fact that we've had to walk in the streets, it's hard not getting plowed as soon as you step outside!!

Peace and Love

Scott-tay!

Snowbound On Second Street In DC

2010-02-07T11:19:00.000-05:00

Although the snow stopped falling late yesterday and people are beginning to get out and about this morning, there is a stillness to the city covered in snow that is peaceful. We’ve been essentially hibernating for the past two days but the sun today is blinding and folks seem to be enjoying this cold but sparkling Sunday. (Although it’s after 9AM I’m still waiting for my Sunday Washington Post to be delivered.) And today is the Super Bowl – and may the Saints crush the Colts who fled Baltimore in the middle of the night all those years ago. But I’m feeling generous and calm today mainly as a result of the incredible beauty that all this snow has bestowed upon our nation’s capital. Course there are those – mainly out in the burbs – who are still without power and they are probably not so pleased with the 30+ inches covering their streets and driveways.

I’m just back from a couple of weeks in India visiting some friends and taking a look at what’s happening on the Indian art scene which is why I haven’t paid attention to my blog. Had a really great time. But got an e-mail from Blogger Extraordinaire Ian-Dark Tomahawk this morning asking for a post which, since I woke up at 5:45 this morning, I supplied. “What It Means To Be A Gay Man in 2010” was the topic. And now I’m thinking what does it really mean to be a gay man today? Much has changed, much is better than when I was younger and yet there is this nagging feeling that we aren’t making the kind of progress that we should be. And for many it’s still dangerous out there.

These are, for those of us who are politically aware, very trying times. If you’ve been following the Tea Bagger meeting in Nashville you know what I mean. So Sarah Palin bashes Obama? Ummmmmm, excuse me, but the very thought of this woman occupying the White House is a thought too frightening to contemplate. And as gay men we surely must be politically aware since there are so many out there who decide for us what our lives will be. I have no solutions. My “just shoot them all” suggestion hasn’t gotten a lot of traction. Besides I suppose from the other side they would be just as ready and willing to shoot us and be done with it.

I, for one, get tired of being defined as a gay man as if that’s the alpha and omega of who I am. On the personal level my gay and straight friends and acquaintances run the gamut of personality and character types. As well as colors, religions, ethnicities, ages, body types, levels of insanity – you know, all the facets of our humanity who make us what we are. My roommate, my Arab friend, my Indian lover, my Buddhist buddy, my Lebanese lesbian girlfriend, my Iranian brothers – they are all wonderful, unique individuals and cannot be typecast into some catchall category that says anything real about them. And I would ask the same for me. I am not just a gay man. That’s surely a part of who I am, a key element of what makes me tick, but you know as well as I do that among your gay friends there is a rich diversity of characteristics – both good and bad – that leaves the “gay” descriptive very lacking in meaning as any sort of characterization of who you are as a human being. We need to continue to fight for our rights – fight to live our lives without fear, without repression, without discrimination – but it seems to me that we also need be sure that we live our lives as richly and as fully human as we possibly can.

Well did not mean to get preachy. Sorry. There seems to be a small army of folks outside taking pictures with cameras and cell phones as well as a couple of folks attempting to unearth their parked cars so I’m going out to have some fun.

Peace and love,

Scott-tay

Another Second Street Story

2010-01-17T23:24:00.002-05:00

A recent cell phone conversation with my roommate went something like this:

Him: “Hey dude, what’s up?

Me: “I’m fine. What are you doing tonight?”

Him: “I’m going to come home and then go to Starbucks to study.”

My roomie flies up to Boston from DC every weekend to take classes for a master’s degree to be a medical assistant.

Me: “Hey, I didn't do any cleaning today since you said you were going to do it tonight when you got home from work.”

Him: “Ok dude, so tell me why do I have to clean the fucking apartment when I have a full time job, have to go up to Boston every weekend, study every night and you’re just laying around every day wacking off or whatever?”

Me: “Well I just thought since you offered you were down with it. The cleaning I mean.”

Full Disclosure: A friend of mine, an Arab from the UAE, was coming to see me over the weekend so I told my roomie that I needed to clean the apartment. The Arab prince is a stickler for cleanliness. And he’s 29 years old so you think I’m NOT going to do what pleases him? My roomie willingly offered to do the cleaning this time. I mean WTF?

Him: “Look, I don’t give a flying fuck about Abdul so you can just stuff it. You know what I mean?”

Me: “Well, yeah but I thought you were OK with doing it since I’ve been cleaning up the place for the past few months,”

Him: “What is it with you dude? You have no respect for my schedule? You think I have all this time to spare just to make sure that your Arab fuck buddy is happy?”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to get all bent out of shape about it! It’s OK if you don’t have time. I’ll do it myself!”

Him: “OK, so another thing, tell me how it is that I can clean the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room and both bedrooms in an hour and it takes you two days to accomplish the same?”

Me: “Well I guess that just has to be the fact that you were raised in a Black family and I was raised in a white one. You know how “we” are about such things.”

Much laughter from the other side. This is one of our regular flash points.

Him: “Look, asshole, I’ll clean up the place when I get home tonight, OK?”

Me: “Well don’t put yourself out homie. I mean, shit, if you’re all that stressed out, fine, I’ll just do it myself.”

Him: “Don’t give me that righteous white crap, OK? Or I’ll beat your ass ‘til Sunday when I come home tonight. Got it?”

So by this time I began to think that this exchange was Sooooooo much like the kind of exchanges that I used to have with my ex-wife that it was beginning to freak me out. More colorful maybe, but way too fucking familiar.

Me: “Look homie, this is sounding way too much like the marriage conversations I used to have with my ex and I’m not going to go there.”

Much more hearty laughter over the phone.

Him: “You are too much dude!”

Me: “Yeah I know I’m special. But I don’t want to relive my past OK? After all you are just a roommate and not a spouse!”

More laughter.

Him: “Understood homie. Just trying to keep it real I guess. Still love you.”

Me: “OK, so are you going to clean the place or should I do it myself?”

Him: “How bout if we talk about it when I get home?”

Me: “No problem homie. See you later. Love you.”

I mean, tell me this isn’t love? What’s scary though is that the two of us are very much like an old married couple. But you know, I’m OK with that. As is he. We really do care about each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Nor would he.

I love the man.

Peace and love.

Scott-tay

PS: Guess whether or not he cleaned up when he got home. NO! He got “involved” with some “friend” of his and spent all night chatting with him.

Oh well, c’est la vie! But I still love him.

Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh: What Can You Say?

2010-01-14T11:48:00.002-05:00

All of you know my utter disdain, scorn and contempt for these two but it is beyond the pale that they both have taken the opportunity in the face of the horrible devastation in Haiti to slam Black people and Barack Obama. This is truly beyond comprehension. There is much I could say about both of them but I think Keith Olberman from MSNBC probably says it best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKwPfqfvncE

You all know that if this had happened in France, let's say, we would not have heard this vile, racist bullshit from these two dickwads. Somehow I'm thinking that maybe castration would help these two. At least it might help the rest of us.

Scott-tay

Haiti Response: Proud To Be An American Again

2010-01-14T10:59:00.000-05:00

Recall for a moment our government’s response to Katrina and now think about the past couple of days and how the Obama Administration has responded to the earthquake in Haiti. Let’s also keep in mind that New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are actually a part of the United States while Haiti is not. Do we have some vital strategic interests in Haiti? Don’t know really, since it’s never easy to figure out what all of our clandestine agencies are doing at any given moment in any part of the globe. But on the surface it certainly appears that our guy understands what it is that America stands for as far as our global responsibilities in the face of natural disasters. It’s called leadership.

This morning (Thursday) Obama gave a short news conference flanked by Secretary of State Clinton, VP Biden, and a couple of other administration officials and made the point that the US Government was making a concerted, rapid and coordinated response to the catastrophe in Haiti. Apparently the first responders arrived yesterday in Port-au-Prince including a disaster recovery team from Fairfax Virginia and a trickle of desperately needed aid. It looks as if there will be much more over the next few days. From the very first news flashes about the earthquake, I have been watching Obama’s actions and I have to say that he makes me proud again to be an American.

Older Men and the Sex Drive

2010-01-12T11:16:00.008-05:00

Friend of mine I were talking about sex the other day (Full Disclosure: We are not having sex with each other nor have we ever! He is cute though!) and he asked me “Well, don’t older men have diminished sex drives? I mean doesn’t it sort of wear off or something as you get older?” He was, of course, referring to ME personally since he knows I try to be as sexually active as possible. But it’s an interesting question. Most of the men I know my age are still sexually active although to what degree I can’t say. Except for a few of my personal encounters and I can truthfully tell you that, for us, the answer is “No, the sex drive is still very much alive and well.”

On the other hand, there are a couple of things that are relevant about having sex when you reach “the age” - past 50, let’s say. At least drawing from my personal experience. Yes, it does take a bit longer to have an orgasm. And yes, sometimes we have to use “devices” in order to keep “it” up (Thank God for my friend Jim’s shop, The Leather Rack). And as I’m sure most of you know Viagra, Cialis and Levitra cum in very handy too. What about the volume of ejaculate? Well this one is a bit more difficult to gauge. I’ve known older guys who gush like they are still in their teens (the truly blessed!) but in general I would say that the amount of cum we produce is somewhat diminished.

So where does this leave us older Daddies? One thing that I truly appreciate about gay sex is the variety and range of sexual activity that we define as “sex.” Not like heteros where only full intercourse counts. I have one friend who gets off on just giving blow jobs. Nothing expected in return. And I know a guy who is impotent but has a posse of young studs following his ass like white on rice. Not sure what he does in bed but I’d like to take notes sometime.

But for all you young guys out there who think that us older men are just dried up prunes, well, our skin may be a bit wrinkled, but when it comes to sex most of us are still able to get it on. Just not as often maybe. And let me clue you in on something else: we’ve been there dudes. We know what it means to “pleasure” our partners. We have the experience you don’t have in relationships whether short or long and we take not a little pride in being able to make our lovers cum back for more. And more. And more. And more. (Anyone remember the late, great Madeline Kahn in “Blazing Saddles?”) Just the random thoughts.

Have a good day guys.

Love and Peace. And do keep on making love. It’s good for you!

Scott-tay

A Little Warmth On A Cold Day!

2010-01-11T15:02:00.002-05:00

Don't know what the weather is like where you are, but in DC it's cold as hell!

Stay Warm!
Peace and Love
Scott-tay

Skinny Young Black Dudes With Big Dicks

2010-01-10T18:30:00.010-05:00

I don’t know about you, but from my perverted point of view, I’ve noticed this phenomenon on the web – and come on, guys you know what I mean. What is it with those young skinny Black guys who have long, beautiful dicks hanging down to their knees and shit? Is it some genetic strain that’s developed over time? Or just that skinny guys are built that way? I certainly have no first hand evidence from my personal experience to say one way or the other. But last Saturday I did have a pleasant encounter.

Couple of friends and I went down to Ziegfield's here in DC – me for the first time although they are regulars. Ziegfield's is probably the last bastion of the sleazy gay clubs that until the new baseball stadium was built about four years ago populated this part of your nation’s capital. And I have to say that I wasn’t a frequent patron back in the day but I had gone to a couple of them in my youth.

First floor of the place is the drag show venue which, if Saturday was any indication, is a bit lame. After spending about an hour being nice to all the drag queens on the first floor we went upstairs and I have to say that I was very, very impressed. Another dance floor for patrons upstairs, and maybe six or eight guys – some in scant undies, others just letting it all hang out – showing off their stuff, as it were. Natch I was very intrigued.

Scattered on the dance floor were maybe four guys – one still sporting the kind of white briefs you see at Aussie Bum showing off their big under cover dicks, the other three au naturale as it were. There was this one patron messing about with one of the au naturale guys with nice tats, just running his hands up and down what I have to say were gorgeous thighs and pecs. But my attention was soon drawn to the upstairs bar where four guys -three white dudes all of whom I have to admit were quite hunky- and one Black guy down at the end.

As I stood just taking in all the goodies, I couldn’t help but notice that the young Black guy was very attractive. Maybe 5’10” tall, light skinned, 23 -25 years old, thin – could not have weighed more than 135 pounds – with an incredible smile. (This, I will point out, is a HUGE weakness of mine. Give me a gorgeous, flashing smile and I’m done in!) Well, you guessed it, the tall skinny Black kid put all the other guys to shame. He had the most gorgeous dick I have seen in a long, long time. Not only long but with one of those mushroom heads that was extraordinarily beautiful. And very, very luscious!

So in the spirit of the evening I went over to him, he bent down, and I put $5 bucks in his boot. OK, Ok should have been $10, I know. I apologized for my cold hands (it was about 25 degrees outside at the time) but took the opportunity nevertheless to run my hands up his legs, thighs and a few other prime places on his body. He whispered in my ear “That’s OK baby. I don’t mind.” Such a nice young man!! Of course because he was bending down to me his gorgeous dick was more or less lodged in my face and I had a great deal of difficulty not just taking it in my mouth but I thought that would be rude. So much for the missed opportunity but then there are standards, I suppose.

I have to say the guy was very sweet – but of course he’s paid to do that. But I didn’t care. It was quite enough just to be able to feel the heat of his body in my hands and feel that lovely member brushing my beard.

All in all it was a very lovely evening!

Peace and Love,

Scott-tay

HERE WE GO AGAIN - DC: "THE LAST COLONY"

2010-01-07T11:14:00.000-05:00

This article about DC's Same Sex Marriage Law (now being "reviewed" by the US Congress) in today's Washington Post shows just how disenfranchised we here in the District of Columbia really are. Thirty Nine of our nation's finest lawmakers - none of whom represent the District of Columbia since we don't have representation in Congress (with apologies to Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton) and none of whom anyone in DC voted to represent us - have inserted themselves into our local politics. Last colony? Last plantation is probably more like it.

Hill Republicans join fight against D.C. gay marriage

By Tim Craig

Washington Post Staff Writer

January 7, 2010

Republican congressional leaders have joined local activists in a court fight to allow voters to decide whether same-sex marriage should be legal in the District, underscoring the continued uncertainty surrounding the issue.

Same-sex marriage supporters and opponents faced off in D.C. Superior Court for a hearing Wednesday on whether the city should be required to allow a ballot initiative that would define marriage as being between a man and a woman.

Thirty-nine GOP legislators, including 37 members of the House and two senators, James M. Inhofe (R-Okla.) and Roger Wicker (R-Miss.), have filed an amicus brief supporting a public vote on the issue. The House members include Minority Leader John A. Boehner (Ohio) and Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Va.).

The filing asserts that the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics exceeded its authority by ruling twice that a public vote would discriminate against gay men and lesbians.

The court challenge comes as the Democrat-controlled Congress begins to consider whether to allow D.C. Council legislation legalizing same-sex marriage to become law. The measure has been signed by Mayor Adrian M. Fenty (D).

“As members of the District's ultimate legislative body, amici are concerned about the extent of the District's delegated legislative authority, the preservation of Congress's constitutional authority, and the interpretation of home rule," the brief states.

Same-sex marriage supporters and some D.C. Republicans expressed outrage over the federal lawmakers' decision to become involved in the court challenge.

Sultan Shakir, a regional field director for the Human Rights Campaign, noted that many House Republicans have long argued against giving District residents full voting rights in Congress.

"It is ironic that nearly all of the 39 representatives and senators that signed the brief have done everything in their power before to deny voting rights to D.C. residents," Shakir said. "I don't know if they have had a sudden change of heart on D.C. voting rights or, more likely, they are just playing politics and once again meddling in home rule."

A spokesman for Cantor did not return calls seeking comment.

The court brief was filed even though several D.C. GOP leaders, including local party Chairman Robert J. Kabel, had asked national Republicans to stay out of the controversy.

"The Republican Party I am a member of is dedicated to allowing local rule and respecting the thoughts of individuals," said Kristopher J. Baumann, a local GOP activist who is also active in the Fraternal Order of Police. "I find it ironic they would come out squarely against the wishes of the local party."

Paul Craney, executive director of the D.C. Republican committee, declined to comment.

Same-sex marriage opponents, however, said their rights are the ones being violated.

In two rulings since June, the election board has said a referendum cannot be held because the 1977 Human Rights Act protects gays and other minority groups from discrimination.

But Bishop Harry Jackson, pastor of Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, and other opponents note that the provision of the law in question was crafted in 1977, long before same-sex marriage was an issue.

Council member Mary M. Cheh (D-Ward 3), a constitutional law professor at George Washington University, said she thinks same-sex marriage opponents could prevail in court.

"I certainly don't think it's a frivolous claim," said Cheh, one of 11 council members who voted to legalize same-sex marriage. "I would hope, obviously, it doesn't come out that way . . . but in these kinds of things, there is always an opportunity for people to make arguments."

Peace, Love and Freedom

Scott-tay

Stories From Second Street

2010-01-06T15:09:00.003-05:00

My roommate and I are locked in a fairly vicious battle over which one of us is going to “approach” one of our new neighbors. Our 12 unit apartment building (yes, the ratty, rent controlled dump of a hovel in DC) has had some recent arrivals over the past couple of months. A nice mix of newcomers, I might add. But my roomie and I are very much taken with one of the new youngsters who moved in about a month ago. I have to say that I suspect “he” has the advantage since he’s in his mid-thirties while I am, well, let’s just say a bit older, and the new neighbor is very young. Of the age of consent for sure, but I’d guess maybe 23-24 or thereabouts.

So the youngster neighbor is really cute, slim, with short blondish-reddish hair, maybe about 5’8” tall, gay, an art student with the very slightest lisp that you can’t detect right away. But oh so lusciously cute! And as my roomie says “Eminently Fuckable!” I have to admit that both of us are lusting after this young-un as if he’s the last man in DC. The first time I saw him – he was unloading his fancy car outside and I just had to run out to “welcome” him to our humble little building – my blood just flowed to all those places that tell you that you’re still alive. First couple of conversations he was very shy – and tell me that a shy young man isn’t even more desirable! – but since then we’ve established a decent, if superficial “front stoop conversational mode” that I find both yummy and frustrating.

But while I adore my roommate and we don’t often come to blows over the men in our separate lives, I have to say that Mr. Next Door Neighbor has upset the balance our happy home. I mean, I take the view that as an older man with fewer years left in my life to make new “friends,” my roommate should yield to me (and to my carnal desires). After all he’s got a whole lot more years to be exploring “new neighbors” and that as a courtesy to me (being his elder and shit) he ought to just step back and let me do my thing. Isn’t this the respectful thing to do?

But, no, the bastard is all in my face about who has priority here. The problem is that he’s a hell of a lot bigger than me and Black at that so I’m in a bind about how to proceed. I’m not at all intimated by my roomie’s “thuggie” act but on the other hand I don’t want to piss on him either. Oh, the problems we face in our mundane lives. The dilemmas we have to confront. The decisions that must be made.

So if you have any advice I’m very open. (“Open” may not be the correct term here - my roomie says I am a slut of the first order and open to anything that has a heart beat but that’s a different issue! Such an asshole he can be!) Here’s the real issue: When faced with the competing lusts of good friends over a “truly hot cutie” how do you decide who gets first crack? (Oh – is “crack” somehow inappropriate?) Well, you know what I mean.

Take care.

Scott-tay

MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET: I DATE BLACK MEN!

2010-01-05T10:35:00.028-05:00

So there, my secret is out. Is it some kind of disease? Some unconscious desire to be dominated by Big-Dicked Black Men? A reverse slavery thing as a kind personal retribution? Maybe. Who knows? Frankly I don’t much care. I have had any number of “discussions” on the topic of interracial dating (both hetero and homo) and I recognize that some folks don’t appreciate the “interracial thing” – that it somehow subtracts from the eligible pool, so to speak, or some other equally spurious reason.

Well, personally, all I can say is:

I DON”T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!

And as for the "Big-Dicked Black Man Syndrome” – well, I’ll leave that for another time ☺ . But seriously guys, there is, as we all know, a very distinct divide in the gay world between the Black community and the white community. While I’m not all that familiar with the Black/white gay scene in LA, or NY or other American cities I know it very well here in DC and I suspect that it’s not all that much different anywhere else. (Please, if there is some paradise where Blacks and whites DO get down with one another in some seriously congenial way, let me know. I’m not proud.) In all the years I’ve lived in DC and for all the Black men I know, no one has given me a satisfactory answer about why it is that the two communities are so at odds with one another.

On the other hand, I’ve been told there are many “reasons” – whole lot more Black men are on the DL and whites see this as being basically pussy-whipped; Blacks don’t have

the same “freedom” as whites since culturally there are too many “negatives” attached to being gay (and out); that whites have been the leaders of the gay rights movement with no help from the Black community, etc. etc. I have to say that all this seems like bullshit to me even though there is some truth to all of them. For example, in my experience there are a disproportionate number of DC white men on Manhunt who are married (on the “DL” let’s say) given the demographics of the city. And as for the gay leadership issue, here in DC African American men are very much involved – just not in white, gay organizations. Sadly, I have to conclude that “the reasons"

are much more about plain, old, ordinary racism than anything else. And this is particularly sad as we move into 2010.

Personally, Black men don’t scare me. Since I came to DC 30 years ago I have had the good fortune and, indeed. the honor of being friends with any number of Black men. My first male lover while I was in college was African American. One of my current stalkers is African American. (Yeah, I suppose I did him bad but hey man, get over it OK?) Why? How has this happened? Don’t know really. Grew up in a white suburban community (Rochester, NY) and I guess the only thing that I did differently was go to Howard University and it was there that I learned that Black men are just not all that different from white men except for razor bumps and stocking caps, maybe. But that’s history. My history.

In the words of Rodney King, “Why can’t we all just get along?” But of course I wouldn’t want to be a Black man when the poo-poos stop me late at night. Or anytime for that matter. We still have a long way to go my brothers and sisters.

Peace and Love

Scott-tay

SPREADING THE LOVE - ALL THE WAY TO JAPAN!

2010-01-04T15:09:00.007-05:00

You all know my philosophy - we each need to spread our love just as far and wide as we can! I've been doing my best, what about you?

So next time you have the opportunity, why not do some exploring? Maybe learn a little about a different culture. Couldn't hurt could it?

Peace and Love.

Scott-tay

Pics courtesy of Naked Japan blogspot. There are many more!

One Day Into The New Year: Had Enough Yet?

2010-01-02T08:22:00.002-05:00

I hate starting off the New Year in a negative vein, but I can tell – given my shitty, pessimistic mood – that this piece is going to be a screed – full of righteous bitchiness and blasphemous rantings. But hell, haven’t you had enough of what passes for “governance?” What passes for political leadership? I mean I want to scream “what the hell are you fuckers doing to my country?” I’ve had just about enough of all this shit!!

Tell me, why the hell are we still being driven by the right wing, homophobic, ignorant mother-fucking tea bagging idiots who don’t know shit about human decency to say nothing of human compassion or even what “humanity” even means. Dick Armey? Please – can someone just give him a fucking blow job that he’ll never forget? I have a feeling that it might just change the course of American History. Then again, I’m not sure that I’d volunteer. Unless there’s a whole lot of money in it for me! Any volunteers? I’ll willingly foot the bill!

But seriously folks, where the hell are we today? We are at the beginning of a new decade and yet we still seem to be stuck in 1980. The election year of my “favorite” President, Ronald – fuck-ass, brain-dead, Silver Daddy – Reagan. (By the way all of us who consider ourselves Washingtonians still refuse to call Washington National Airport by its “official” name – “Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport.” I mean what used to be called Friendship Airport was recently renamed “Thurgood Marshall Baltimore Washington International Airport” and while that name isn’t going to fit on a fortune cookie slip it strikes me as a fairly progressive and honorable effort to honor one of the great jurists of 20th Century America. Washingtonians – with our limited voting rights - are nothing if not stubborn in the face of idiocy.)

But I digress. Look, I didn’t put myself out on DC’s streets during the Sixties and Seventies in the face of National Guard tear gas canisters, M-1’s and M-16’s (to say nothing of the DC MPD’s nasty white southern cops back then) to be ruled by ignoramuses and fools! What gives here? Have we all lost our balls? Have we become neutered puff-faggots who can’t get it up anymore? This is totally ridiculous! The fucking right wing crazies are dumb, stupid, intolerant, bigoted racists and yet we do nothing about it? We can’t get ourselves together and fight for what we believe in?

Not only am I disappointed, I am ashamed. I am ashamed of all my bothers and sisters who don’t seem to get the importance of where this country is in our history. We are on the verge of a permanent, radical conservative wave and if you don’t believe me just wait until the 2010 and 2012 elections. Yet we sit by at our computers doing nothing. No, I can’t accept this. This is not the country I risked my life for. This is not the society that I fought for. This is not my America!

And just in case you disagree with me, think about this: the next terrorist attack on American soil will undoubtedly unleash a frenzy of hate, recrimination and panic here in the USofA that will make Nazi Germany seem warm and fuzzy in comparison. If you have any doubts just take a look about what the right wing – yes, including that great “humanitarian,” Dick Cheney - is saying about Obama being soft on terrorism in the face of the latest terrorist act. Are you ready for it?

What say you? Had enough yet? Is this the America you want for yourselves and your loved ones? For YOUR brothers and sisters and your family? Peace and love brothers and sisters but sometimes that’s just not enough. It’s a New Year – let’s not go down without a fight!!

Well at least I feel better. Happy New Year!
Scott-tay

Another New Year OR Why Getting Older Isn’t All Bad!

2010-01-01T12:24:00.010-05:00

Except for the approaching “Grim Reaper” part, getting older really isn’t all that bad if you accept the reality of what we call “life.” Yes, there’s all that health/medical crap – ANY ache or pain and mild discomfort is cause for panic – Is the sharp stab located somewhere between my left shoulder and sternum the opening note of a deadly symphony that will end badly or just the inexorable aging of the body from poor maintenance and just plain wearing out of the body parts? But for me, I have to say, so far so good. Not that I haven’t had my “moments” with prostate cancer and a few other lesser medical “crises” but all in all I have to say that I’m not unhappy about getting older. I consider myself lucky since I don’t really pay attention to all those things one is supposed to: diet, exercise, mental games, etc.

As I look back at the past ten or twenty years of my life, I realize that I have been able to figure out some things that, back then, I had not a clue about. Like figuring out those few things that are truly important in my life. Like living “my life” honestly and not caring about what anyone else thinks. Like seizing opportunities that come my way without knowing where they might lead. Like realizing that my life, like yours, is precious. That it’s the only life you have and you’d better make the most of it while you can. And that living YOUR life is the most important thing you can do. I now know who my real friends are. Not the business “associates” I used to call friends. Now I know the people in my life I can rely on when I need help. I know the buddies I can bitch and whine to and who willingly come back for more when I need it.

But maybe the most important thing I’ve realized in my “elder years” is knowing that life really isn’t all that complicated if you just let it come to you, let it happen day by day and embrace every wonderful moment – including the depressive ones – that comes your way. We are, after all, on a journey whose end we do not know. And for me that’s OK. I no longer need to map out every turn in my life, know every stop along the way, understand the meaning of every signpost along the road. It’s taken me over 30 years to understand that just living is what’s important. Living life with all its pain, and heartache, failed relationships and disappointments, with all of the shit we have to deal with as well as those small, fleeting moments of joy and happiness that give us hope and allow us to carry on despite the hardships we face. No matter who you are, where you are, your financial status, your relationship status – if you accept and embrace each day, each moment that you are alive, you will be rewarded with the gift of life as it should be- wondrous, joyous and filled with meaning. And love.

Happy New Year!
Scott-tay

A DISTURBING ARTICLE- "Now I'm Really Getting Pissed Off"

2009-12-22T08:57:00.016-05:00

David Michael Green is a professor at Hofstra University in New York and he has written a piece for his blog "The Regressive Antidote" about President Obama. The professor is a self-defined "progressive" but is not at all happy with the course of events since Obama's election just over a year ago. I have to say that I mainly agree with him. Yes, he is a bit rough on our President but despite that I think the guy makes many valid points. Like the health care reform debacle that MIGHT be passed by Christmas.

I know that Barack has had a very tough row to hoe, so to speak, and I still greatly admire the man, but as Professor Green points out the Republicans are virtually cumming in their pants over the next round of elections even though they have nothing to offer - it seems as if it's enough that they said "NO" to anything and everything the Democrats and the President have done thus far.

As for me, I can't say that it's just now that I'm getting really pissed off. I've been in that particular mode since about 1980.

Take care. Hope you all have a happy holiday!!

(Title Links To Professor Green's Article)

M2M Wrestling (Or "Rassling" If You Prefer)

2009-12-21T11:30:00.018-05:00

Why is it that I find nude wrestling so fucking hot? Is it the thought of rolling around on the floor in full body contact with some guy? Or is it the aggressiveness that's a part of the whole nude "rassling" thing? Or maybe it just brings back memories of my high school wrestling days when I knew that the full body contact thing was hot and exciting as hell but I didn't know what to do about it? Well, that was then. Damned straight that NOW I'd know what to do!!!!!

Pics courtesy of Naked Kombat - really nice site if you are into this. Title links to their site.

Do You Like Hairy Guys?

2009-12-10T10:47:00.016-05:00

Being moderately hairy myself, I do like hairy guys. Not exclusively, mind you since my "interests" are quite broad. So broad, in fact, that my roommie calls me a slut! Bit it's OK - he means it in the spirit of love. (He's such a charmer!) But my standard response to him - and anyone else who questions my tastes - is as follows: "Yes, I may be a slut, but at least I'm an equal opportunity slut. After all, have to spread the love as far around as I can!!

For those of you who like hairy, enjoy!

SO WHO KNEW?

2009-11-16T18:58:00.001-05:00

Levi's Sign At A Local Shopping Center.

OK, so I know the new Levi's ads are homo-friendly but this is really great customer service!

A Short Personal Story: The Scoutmaster

2009-11-12T09:02:00.003-05:00

Growing up in upstate New York, I and most of my friends were Boy Scouts. Back then it was just something you did and none of us were Scouts for anything very noble or patriotic. It was just fun and gave us a chance to screw around with a lot of stuff we wouldn’t otherwise have had a chance to. The politics of Scouting – its homophobic element or its racial discrimination, for example, we were totally oblivious to. Hey learning how to light a fire with no matches (how did we do that?) was cool! Or so we thought at the time.

But this is a short story about our Scoutmaster – Donald Stubbs by name. Being young and innocent, none of us realized that swimming naked in the freezing water of the Rochester Natatorium in the middle of winter was anything more than just plain meanness on Mr. Scoutmaster’s part. Or was it, we thought, a way of manning us up, preparing us for the heterosexual rigors of life that lay ahead. Nor did we think anything very dastardly when he took a “select group” of us young Scouts to see “Mien Kampf” at some sleazy downtown theater. The film is based on Adolph Hitler’s autobiography of the same name and was full of violence and sex. So I’m thinking that today alarm bells would be going off but this was in the mid-60’s and I guess back then Scoutmasters, like priests, were trusted members of the community.

Well, one late October we all climbed aboard a couple of busses for a weekend camping trip somewhere out in the New York State wilderness. Being late October, it started snowing soon after we left and by the time we reached the campgrounds we had a full scale blizzard on our hands. As it happened, we were camping at some Girl Scout retreat and they had cabins and army cots where we were bunking for the night. The next day we could pitch our tents and get down to the manly business of the trip.

As we were preparing for bed, Scoutmaster Don announced that he wanted me to “cot” next to him. Ohhhh, my head swelled – I mean out of maybe 25 young guys he had chosen me to sleep next to. The honor was intoxicating and I remember thinking how lucky I was. Well, you can imagine what happened after lights out. First there was the “Why don’t you move your cot closer?” and then, yes, there was the “Would you like me to massage your back?” request soon after we had snuggled down. And I was to say “No?” No way. I mean I thought it was a bit strange but I guess I thought it was just one of the perks of having been the chosen one. Well, after the back rub, there was the “Turn over!” order and by this time I was feeling a bit strange about the whole thing. Sure enough his hands crept lower and lower on my stomach until he had reached my genitals. By now I was panicked not knowing what the hell to do. I wanted him to stop but I was essentially paralyzed and could hardly breathe much less open my mouth to protest.

Next morning, feeling very guilty and ashamed, my cousin, my friend Bob and I were in the process of “erecting” our tent when I turned to them and told them what had happened. Bob, never one to mince words, looked straight at me and said “What makes you think you’re any different from the rest of us?” Needless to say I was shocked never having realized what had been going on. My cousin then detailed an incident with him and they both filled me in on any number of other such incidents with several other scouts by the time we lit our fire to cook pancakes. And that was basically the end of it. No reporting of Don’s abuse. No telling the parents. No nothing. Just suck it up and move on. I was grateful though that I had told my friends since I felt better thinking that I wasn’t the only one – that it wasn’t just that there was something wrong with me.

Well, a few months later, while at work in the “men’s and boy’s” department of E. W. Edwards and Sons, who walks in the door but Mr. Scoutmaster. As I saw him walking down the aisle I became so enraged that I actually chased him out of the store. And he did run. Sometime later Mr. Stubbs was arrested. Apparently someone did tell.

Is there a moral to this story? Not sure. I am glad that we are more open today about sexual abuse because even though I don’t think Scoutmaster Stubbs’ fondling did me any lasting harm – thanks mainly to the off-handed, indignant ministrations of my friends – it could have been much worse. As for me I stayed in the Boy Scouts and basically blackmailed the asshole into making me an Eagle Scout. Luckily I received that honor about two weeks before he was arrested.

The Complexities of Modern Living OR How Hunky Is Your Handy Man?

2009-11-10T14:31:00.009-05:00

Most of you are probably too young to remember when fixing a leaking faucet (in my bathroom in this case) was a fairly simple matter of unscrewing the faucet handle, lifting it up, taking a screwdriver (or maybe a kitchen steak knife since they are always available and screwdrivers seem to disappear into the ether when you really need them), prying out the washer, putting in a new one (yes this might have necessitated a pre-repair trip to your local hardware store which, in the 21^st century, don’t seem to exist) and then reversing the procedure. Oh, I forgot one step - turning off the water at the shut-off valve under the sink before you start.

Which is where my current problem lies. In my landlord’s infinite wisdom, neither our kitchen sink nor our bathroom sink has handles on the shut-off valves underneath. This, I’m assuming, is to prevent “do-it-yourself-type” plumbing repairs. In fact, even downstairs in the laundry room and the furnace room the same situation applies. I checked. (I mean someone actually had to spend time thinking bout this?) My father was a plumber so I was fixing sinks, toilets and the sump pump in the basement by the time a was 7 years old. Of course, this was in my spare time between feeding and watering the chickens. (Oh, yes, people, we had about 300 hundred of them at one time. One of my father’s dreams gone bad! But that’s another story.) On the other hand, I know that the kitchen sink has those “cartridges” instead of washers because sometime last spring I took it upon myself to repair that one. Without success, I might add, after three trips to the hardware store that is four METRO stops away.

So today I’m here waiting for our management company’s repair guy. When I called Pete yesterday, he assured me that Devon would be here today. Well it’s now after 2:00 PM and he hasn’t shown up yet. I wouldn’t care very much, my roommate and I are pretty slack about his kind of stuff, but we’re having two guests this week which is very much going to put a strain on our small, 1930’s bathroom fixtures. But it does give me a chance to get the place in shape a bit even though it takes only about 30 minutes after I’ve carefully “Pledged” everything for the plaster dust to settle down again. (I might have mentioned that I think it’s the 20 coats of paint that are actually keeping the plaster from just crumbling to the floor.) By the way, Pete is “the man” so to speak – you know, the management company guy you MUST “stroke” so that you’re not put on the work item list for sometime next year. I guess I’ve done a good job stroking Pete (he is quite good looking!) since he does respond to my pleas. And Devon, our hand dandy all-around repair guy, God bless him, is a real cutie so I enjoy it when he comes to take care of me and my plumbing!

I’ll let you know how it all turns out. Have a good day!

Having Sex VS Making Love. Is There A Difference?

2009-11-09T15:06:00.016-05:00

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where suddenly you realize that the other person hasn’t a clue about what you’re really talking about? I mean it’s as if you’ve been speaking in different languages without knowing it. Happened to me this past weekend. Went to a lecture with a friend and then we went out for drinks afterwards. We exchanged mutual bitching and whining for while and then we got into this discussion about the difference between having sex and making love. I thought everyone knew this, but at some point it dawned on me that he didn’t seem to understand that there is a big difference, at least in my feeble mind. And I’m not being judgmental really, after all there’s room for both in our lives. I’ve known this guy for about five years now and he’s been around a hell of a lot more than I have. So I was a bit shocked and kind of saddened too because I’m not sure he’s experienced the kind of heartfelt, passionate, deep lovemaking that I was talking about. Does he not know what he’s missing or am I just being too romantic and dumb?

All of us, well certainly most of us if not all, have had any number of sexual encounters/liaisons/assignations/hook-ups which were fun, exciting, pleasurable, and maybe even fulfilling for a while. At least for the moment (Minute? Fifteen minutes? Half-hour maybe?) but as soon as the ejaculatory phase was finished have you ever looked over at the guy and said “Sorry man, but I’ve just got to go clean the bathroom before my mother/father/sister/roommate gets back.” Or at least wanted to? Fun, yes, but fulfilling?

I’m hoping that all of us have also been both the givers and recipients of what I would call honest, mutual love making where you took your time from the first knowing spark that said “Yes, it’s going to happen!” to the falling asleep cradled in his arms a few hours later so exhausted and oblivious to anything outside the combined confines of your two-in-one bodies that entire cities could disappear around you and it would register nothing to you and your lover. I mean I don’t think this is profound. For me, this is the height of sexual pleasure and emotional fulfillment because you’ve shared something wonderful.

It doesn’t necessarily have to accompany, I don’t think, a committed, long term, mutually beneficial relationship although I would think this is probably where it happens most often. Or should, at least. I have been involved with men I love, who love me, but for whatever practical reasons - he has a 14 year LTR who lives in Texas, I’m too strung out with my legal problems to take on someone long term – yet because of mutual respect and acceptance it works. It’s not really about the sex. It’s about being willing and open to giving your love to someone else and your being willing to accept his love without conditions. Something along those lines anyway.

Or am I being totally naïve here? I ask because my friend, a very decent guy, good looking, and smart didn’t really “get” what I was talking about. Is this common? I mean I’m as happy as the next gut to just get it on if the chemistry is right but I also would very much miss the kind of very special feeling that I get from those few men whom I truly love to make love to.

What do you think?

Scotty

Had Enough Yet?

2009-11-07T11:27:00.007-05:00

Well I guess not!!

Had Enough Yet?

2009-11-07T11:22:00.003-05:00

Was watching “Angels in America” last night since I had nowhere to go and, naturally, my disdain and contempt for the right wing Republican idiots and their minions was rekindled from what is normally a soft, glowing coal into a blazing rage. So I am not in the mood this morning to be understanding or compassionate or sympathetic to the views of others that I disagree with. No. Not today.

It didn’t help my mood that last Thursday when I took my roommate down to Union Station all the “tea bagger” folks were having just a jolly old time as they were making their way back to their caves or whatever slimy domains they come from. My anger at these folks, spreading their bigotry, lies and destructive ideology, is boundless. The KKK has nothing on these folks. In fact, at least with the Klan you knew exactly what you were fighting. The KKK did not cloak their anti-Black, anti-Jewish, pro-White, Christian, Nazi philosophy in hyperbole and fuzzy logic like the right wing does.

Think about it – from a year ago, when we elected our first African American President, until today where we as a nation seem to be lost in some sort of thick fog that just won’t lift – we “liberals” are still losing ground. Think about it - in every state where same sex marriage laws were passed by state legislatures and then put on ballot referendums, they have been struck down. (Except for the state of Washington where someone had the good sense to use the term “civil unions”.) Think about it – the health care reform effort where the majority of Americans have consistently favored a “public option” that will now be subject to state “opt out” provisions or run by the health insurance companies. Yeah, you could say that this better than no public option at all. But I won’t. This is reform? No, this is the same destructive political bullshit that we’ve been subjected to for the past 30 years.

How did Lyndon Johnson (not my favorite president) get Congress to pass the Civil Rights Act? The Fair Housing Act? The Voting Rights Act? The Great Society Legislation? If any of these bills had been put to a public vote none would have passed. But, yes, times have changed and now it seems that there is nothing called “the public good” anymore just private interests and nut-job organizations that must be fed at all costs. I do not fault Obama for our current situation. I think he’s done a great job in what are very trying times.

Why do we seem to be stuck in the grip of some sort of suffocating miasma just a year after we all thought things at long last were going to change for the better? How have we been plunged into all this confusion and dissention? One reason and one reason only – the well-funded, well-organized Republican right wing scumbags who are still controlling our national agenda. They will continue their anti-Obama screed, their hate mongering, their single minded crusade to force their philosophy on all of us until they have succeeded in destroying the America I used to know and want to know again.

Stay tuned.

WEEKEND COUPLE EYE CANDY

2009-10-31T10:38:00.012-04:00

DO TWO MEN MAKE A COUPLE?

Relationships - Why All The Trouble?

2009-10-31T10:27:00.005-04:00

Following The Rules – Or Maybe Not!

Have a close friend who’s involved in a long distance relationship – not that “long” really, an hour by plane and they see each other almost every weekend – and I’ve more or less been “guiding” my friend through the initial stages of what is now a four or five month old close “friendship.” My friend, Fabian – a handsome, 30 year old who’s very much into Daddy types (Thank God for the small favors!) and “Chet” – an older, professional type and life long gay man of 55 – met in Provincetown (Chet lives in Boston) and have been going through what I would call “transition jitters” – that period of time in a burgeoning relationship when the “honesty factor” and “commitment decision” looms large. Full disclosure – I fell madly in love with Fabian and he with me about four years ago but we realized lately that we were on very different “life tracks” and are now just very close friends. (The stories I could tell!!)

Two things I’ve been discussing with Fabian – the “trophy” syndrome and the “unwritten rules of gay relationships” problem. Fabian recently moved to the US from South America and is in graduate school in upstate New York. He’s been here for about six months now and has no problem in the “dating” department, being very much a “daddy magnet.” But he’s also the kind of guy who wants honest, close friendships and is not just looking for sex. As for the “trophy syndrome” Fabian definitely fits the bill. Model handsome, young, smart, funny and one of those guys you can fall in love with at the drop of a hat (Or pants, I suppose, God is he handsome!) with a gregarious personality to boot, this, I think, will continue to plague Fabian for much of his younger years. Do I think that Chet sees Fabian as a “trophy”? I think so. Which is not to say that their relationship can’t mature into something that is more honest and deeper. But I do think that it’s going to take some serious soul searching by both of them – Chet still has an ex-lover he hangs with in Boston while Fabian has a lover at home he is still very much in love with.

As for the “unwritten rules” of gay relationships, this is a phenomenon that I’ve run into several times

now, even though I came out late in my life and am not all that experienced in the world of man on man love. I’ve told Fabian that I think Chet suffers from the “this is how gay relationships go down” syndrome, i.e. that there is a well-known pattern to the development of gay relationships that is inviolate and never varies. This, more or less, consists of an “infatuation” phase where both partners are starry eyed and cannot imagine anything so wonderful as the “two of us” followed by the “Oh, my God where have you been all my life” phase wherein bliss is the primary emotion, followed by the “are you THE ONE?” phase where things start to get a bit dicey and testy, followed by “you didn’t tell me that this was going to be an “open relationship” phase, followed by “the bitter disappointment phase” followed by the “how could you be so cruel” phase followed by the “I never want to see you in my life again” terminal phase.

Cynical? – Yes, admittedly but I’m only speaking from personal experience, as limited as it might be. I have two former “friends” who simply cannot accept the idea that I am not now their “boyfriend” nor will I ever be. This “the rules are all there and all you need to do is follow them” phenomenon in the gay world is one that I find extremely destructive. Yes, it is true that, depending on what it is we are looking for in our relationships, the course of relationship development may indeed follow familiar patterns, but for me, going into a new relationship with these rules in the back of one’s mind is simply a recipe for failure. We need to break out of this mold, approach our trysts, couplings and attempts at genuinely loving relationships with more openness and simplicity. We would all be better off, I’m thinking, if we could shed some of the self-destructive patterns of behavior we have adopted over the years to protect our hearts from pain and our minds from disappointment. We will experience pain and we will experience disappointment but if we experience them as honest and genuine emotions and embrace the hurt they entail, we will be better able to form the kind of honest, deep and truly loving relationships we all desire. After all, we are now a force to be reckoned with in American society and not just some underground, deviant sub culture that our dominant society can ignore. I think we need to examine our self-imposed limitations and shed those that are no longer helpful.

As for Fabian, the jury is still out. I’ll do what I can to protect him but in the end he’s the one who’s going to have to understand what truly honest and genuine relationships are all about. And for my money, they have nothing to do with “trophies” or “unwritten gay rules”. They only have to do with risk and honesty. You can’t find love without risking your heart. And no matter how many times you might fail, it is worth the effort.

For Your Consideration

2009-10-27T08:08:00.005-04:00

Thanks to My Friend Michael-in-Norfolk

Mass. Man Says Brazilian Husband Denied US Asylum

By RUSSELL CONTRERAS, Associated Press Writer Russell Contreras, Associated Press Writer – Mon Oct 26, 7:46 pm ET

BOSTON – A gay Brazilian man has been denied asylum by the Obama administration and won't be reunited with his Massachusetts husband in the U.S., the husband said Monday. Tim Coco said Attorney General Eric Holder did not act on a Friday deadline in the case of Genesio "Junior" Oliveira, effectively denying the 30-year-old Brazilian man's request for asylum in the U.S. on humanitarian grounds.

"We needed the Attorney General to make a decision on whether Junior could come home," said Coco, 48, of Haverhill. "He didn't take this request seriously." The Justice Department did not immediately return messages.

In 2002, Oliveira had sought asylum in the U.S. because he said he was raped as a teenager in Brazil. But an immigration judge denied his request, and Assistant Attorney General Ronald Weich said in a letter that Oliveira repeatedly remarked at his hearing that he "was never physically harmed" by anyone in Brazil. Coco, however, said Oliveira was referring to street beatings and wasn't clear during his hearing about the harm he faced because of the rape. Oliveira returned to Brazil in 2007 after losing an appeal. Before he left, he and Coco married in Massachusetts in 2005 and bought a house together.

According to federal immigration law, immigrants also can apply for residency if they marry U.S. citizens. But the federal government does not recognize gay marriages under the Defense of Marriage Act, and Oliveira's request to remain in the United States based on his relationship with Coco was denied this year.

In March, Sen. John Kerry asked Attorney General Eric Holder to grant Oliveira asylum on humanitarian grounds. Kerry spokeswoman Brigid O'Rourke said Monday that the senator will continue to work toward a solution that would reunite the couple for good.
"The fact is that if Tim and Junior were a heterosexual married couple, they would never have suffered through more than two years of separation," said O'Rourke.
Coco said he thought there was "no way" the Obama Administration would deny Oliveira's asylum request after Kerry made his plea to Holder.

"We are profoundly sad," said Coco. "This is more than any married should have to face."
The case comes as Obama tries to smooth a rocky relationship with gay activists, who want him to end the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays, which he has pledged to do but hasn't given a timeline. Tens of thousands of gay rights supporters marched in Washington earlier this month, demanding Obama keep his promise to end the policy.

Coco said he has spent about $250,000 in legal bills and hasn't seen Oliveira since January, though the two video chat online every night. Oliveira was denied a visa to return to Massachusetts last year for the funeral of Coco's mother. Coco said the couple plans to launch a legal challenge against the federal Defense of Marriage Act as a violation of immigration laws.
"This is our last shot, if nothing else works," said Coco. "But we think we can pull this off with the right legal counsel."

O'Rourke said Kerry supports the couple's legal challenge to the Defense of Marriage Act, which limits how state, local and federal bodies can recognize partnerships and determine benefits. He also called for a law to extend benefits to domestic partners.

This month, Obama called on Congress to repeal the Defense Of Marriage Act.
While Brazilians are generally more tolerant of homosexual conduct than their neighbors in Latin America, the country remains something of a paradox. Judges have granted foreign partners in gay relationships the right to residency and have authorized civil unions that bestow many of the same benefits of marriage to gay couples, but many segments of society remain openly hostile to homosexuals.

A handful of transgender men and women from Brazil also have been granted asylum in the U.S. based on testimony that they had been victims of violence. Since 1994, sexual orientation has been grounds for asylum in the United States after a ruling by then-Attorney General Janet Reno. Dozens of asylum seekers from the Middle East, Latin America and Africa have won asylum on that ground, according to Immigration Equality, a New York-based nonprofit group that helps gay clients with immigration cases. However, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services doesn't keep data on asylum cases won on sexual orientation claims.

My Personal Antidote for the Crazy Right Wing Assholes

2009-10-25T12:36:00.010-04:00

Such A Joy To Behold!

Holy Shit! New Life for the Public Option?

2009-10-25T12:09:00.005-04:00

Damn!!! – who’d a thunk it? After all the money spent this summer by the conservative, anti-health care reform folks to disrupt town hall meetings, spread lies about the health care proposals under consideration, foment lies about the President, and generally just butt-fuck Congress and the public – the Public Option isn’t dead yet!!! I am truly heartened by this turn of events. Course we ain’t there yet and God only knows what may happen until some legislation is passed (should this occur, of course), but Halleluiah and Praise the Lord, maybe the right wing’s hold on the national agenda is weakening a bit. I say “weakening a bit” because knowing the “destroy-the-country-but-win-at-all-costs” philosophy of these fools, there’s no telling what sort of pull-it-out-of-your-ass bullshit they will try next. But therein lies a dilemma – after tagging Obama as the Anti-Christ Satan, the Neo Nazi Hitler of the early 21^st Century, the Stealth Communist President, the Big Brother Government-Out-Of-Control Un-American Who Would Be King, – and maybe a couple more I’ve forgotten – what the hell are they going to call him now? I mean, haven’t they basically shot their full load in this orgy of blathering but dangerous idiocy or am I forgetting something?

We still have a long way to go but I have to admit that I thought the Public Option was thoroughly dead in the water. So I suppose that the progressive/liberal folks have been working behind the scenes counter all the lies, half truths and misinformation that has surrounded the health care reform efforts thus far. And thank God for them. Because you and I both know that if the right wing wins on health care, their next target is going to be us. Well, maybe us and abortion. Or teaching creationism. Shooting illegal immigrants? I don’t know, there’s just so much to choose from in their basket of truly fucked up cultural values shopping lists!

Couple of sites that are of interest in this case: The Bilerico Project (http://dc.bilerico.com/) and Public Option Please (http://publicoptionplease.com). Now I’m thinking it’s on to our national GLBT leaders who don’t seem to understand that we are fighting the EXACT same fight that Harvey Milk was fighting in 1978 – equal rights for gay Americans – for ALL Americans, including us. Why? Why are we still at the same place? Why is it that 30 years ago we were fighting for basic human rights and it’s still the same fight today? Why? – the answer is easy!!!! The well funded, hate-mongering, racist minority that passes for the upholders of “family values” morality at the national level, has been fighting us since Ron “Asshole” Reagan was elected President in 1980. They are not going to stop until we defeat them. It is a war and they have the advantage right now. We need to fight them in the streets. At the barricades. In the media. Everywhere we can until their intolerant, inhuman vitriol is silenced.

It’s still about our very lives. Seriously.

See above for the antidote for all this craziness!

The Newcomers To Second Street

2009-09-24T13:23:00.010-04:00

We’ve had three empty apartments (all 2 bedroom units) in our little 12 unit building since last spring. Can’t figure out why it is that our management company would sit with empty apartments for so long when they could be earning money off of them, but then I’m not a real estate magnate so I don’t have any expertise in these kinds of things.

Most of the folks who live in our modest building fall into two categories – 1) folks who have been in our rent-controlled haven for years (one guy has been in the same apartment for 35 years) and 2) newcomers to DC, mainly young Congressional staffers and their ilk. During the Bush administration I was not all that enamored with the youngsters who called 220 2nd Street, SE, home, temporary as it might have been, since I’m not all that fond of right wing conservatives. But since Obama’s election, I’ve been waiting for the sea-change that occurs here in DC with a newly elected administrations. And, after quite a protracted period, it seems that, finally, we have a new cadre of staffers who are associated with the Obama administration who have discovered 220 2nd Street, SE.

Not only that, but it also seems that the newcomers to our small building are uniformly young, handsome, white men who are fairly friendly and are not averse to chatting on our front steps. I mean, for me, it bodes well for the Obama folks despite the current health care “reform” debacle. My roommate is very excited about the prospects as well.

OK, so here’s the rundown. Next door to me, in Unit 103, is Josh, a friend of a Corcoran School of Art student who lives upstairs in 204 and Josh is cute as a button. Then there is the threesome of young, really cute guys (one has short curly dyed blond hair, but I will forgive him that for the time being) who are moving into the apartment across the hall 101. Also, there is this mysterious young man, Matt by name, whom both my roommate and I have met but can’t quite figure out what’s up with him. He’s upstairs in 304. But very hunky and very friendly. Family member? Not sure, but stay tuned.

So we have a whole panoply of newcomers who have to be vetted, as it were. Frankly, it’s all a bit much over such a short period of time. But I have to tell you that to a man, every single one of these newcomers is very, very hunky and I am looking forward to figuring out just where they lay. I’m also very pleased that they are associated with Obama, handsome man that he is. I’m particularly interested in Josh, who told me that he was in the middle of a divorce proceeding. Reddish, brown hair and short-cut hair and beard, maybe 5’6” tall, slim, really cute and eminently fuckable. He hasn’t told me why he’s getting divorced, but I’m thinking that our next “on the stoop” conversation will clear that up. Hope it has to do with some sexual identity issue. All I can say is that things are really looking up in the neighborhood! I am very hopeful. Wish me luck.

And All He Asks Of Us Is We Give Each Other Love

2009-09-18T11:11:00.020-04:00

For some reason I’ve been listening to Marvin Gaye lately, both his duets with Tammi Terrell, Kim Weston, Mary Wells, Diana Ross, etc. and his solo work. Born here in DC (there’s a park named after him here but there ought to be a museum as far as I’m concerned) in 1939, his life was not filled with continual fame, fortune and happiness and I think this is why his music is so poignant, so forever relevant, filled as it is with the contradictions of love, sex, drugs, politics and life in general.

For me, it was his first “non-Motown” album, “What’s Going On” that made me fall in love with the man. Yes, the album was criticized as a “sell-out” at the time, appealing to white audiences. It was a major departure from the pop music he’d done until that point and Marvin threatened to quit Motown unless was given control over the album’s creation and production. The result was pure genius. Living in West Africa at the time (1971), tired of my hot, dusty, lonely existence at the edge of the Sahara Desert and filled with rage at what I saw as my employer’s incompetence and neglect of my situation, I made my way down to Abidjan (a two day journey), went straight to my employers office and threw a tantrum. In an attempt to calm me down he offered to put me up for a couple of days in the house of a Voice of America employee who was on leave back in the States. I accepted.

Little did I know that the “house” – located in Abidjan’s trendy ex-pat community, Cocody- was more of a palace with miniature, pet Tik Tik deer in the fenced back yard, major swimming pool, air conditioning and with a live-in staff for God’s sake. In my exhausted state I thought I was in heaven. But in addition to the luxurious grounds and hot running water, he had a sound system to die for with a collection of albums (vinyl) that filled an entire room.

Laying on a coffee table was “What’s Going On.” I’d heard the title track on VOA which had just been released and after spending maybe 15 minutes trying to figure out all the complicated equipment, I laid down on the sofa to listen. Marvin’s music washed over and filled me - the political/spiritual commentary on the times that is “What’s Going On,” “What’s Happening Brother?” the perfect Black subchapter to “What’s Going On?” and the so hauntingly beautiful, tragic “Flying High in the Friendly Sky” (anyone ever caught in the prison of drug addiction knows what he’s talking about), to the haunting question he asks us in “Save The Children” – at which point I simply lost it and sobbed my ass off for about 20 minutes (probably due to my exhausted state), to “God is Love” an almost too-intimate, personal plea for accepting the New Testament God as our spiritual guide, to “Mercy, Mercy Me (The Ecology Song)” which brings us full circle what was happening in this country at the time.

The flip side of “What’s Going On” is equally brilliant although a bit more pointed and harsh about our cultural state of affairs back then.

There really is no point to this post. Just wanted to share my views of this album and this man. By the way, if you haven’t heard Marvin sing the National Anthem at the NBA All Star Game in 1983 – you need to. Just hope that Marvin rests in God’s love. Peace and love to you all.

Must See Insanity

2009-09-17T09:13:00.001-04:00

It seems to me that the Republicans did not get the message that they should have taken from the last election. We elected Barak Obama precisely because he offered a new political paradigm, not because he’s black, not because he’s “liberal” and not because his father was born in Kenya. What we elected him for was to get the country off this horrendous track that we’ve been one since 1980. (I hate to date the current decline of America as a result of the election of that B-grade Actor the Republicans so venerate but that’s just how I see it). Declining relative incomes? Pariah to the world community? Unprecedented Gay bashing? Fear and hate-mongering? Thanks, but I’ve had enough.

These are the kinds of “policies” we have been subjected to over the past 30 years. I personally regret that younger folks simply don’t know what it means to have a President and a Congress who seem to understand that there is something out there called “the common good.” Trust me, Lyndon Johnson was no liberal and Congress at the time was less than progressive, but he passed more legislation to combat discrimination in public facilities than any other President in history. And what about Dwight Eisenhower who, against the recommendations of the military, simply decreed that the military was integrated?

Here we are in 2009, almost a decade into the 21st Century, and we’ve elected our first African American President after 30 years of right wing, conservative, hate-filled public policy and legislation (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; the Defense of the Family Amendment, etc. etc.) What is it that the right wing doesn’t understand? Did we not tell our countrymen that we were sick and tired of all this crap that passes for public policy? Did we not tell them that we think their “family values” are words on paper that mean nothing to them, much less to us? Did they not understand that we want America once again to be the nation that other nations around the world look up to for a symbol of democracy, freedom and human rights?

But I’m thinking that maybe it’s we who have erred. Just like back in the 60’s and 70’s when we of my generation thought that we had “solved” all the big problems – civil rights, women’s rights, equal rights – maybe we are the ones who have failed our country. Maybe we haven’t been vocal enough, haven’t been out on the barricades enough, haven’t made public what we want this country to be and just let things slide thinking that we’ve done enough.

But we haven’t. Look at the health care reform crap. We are not going to have a public option, the right wing has savaged our President, confusion reigns and we have remained on the sidelines. Silent. We should be ashamed of ourselves. Our country is still at risk. Our lives are still at risk. What we believe in is still at risk.

Suggestions?

09-12 Protest Postscript

2009-09-12T22:17:00.002-04:00

Went to the organizer's web site (www.912dc.org) and discovered that there were over 200 bus trips from mainly the East Coast cities to today's protest. Don't know when this was posted but the first reply was September 6, 2009. So in less than one week the right wing folks were able to get 50,000 (my estimate) folks to rally against health care reform and Obama. Very Impressive. Very Scary.

Health Care Reform? Be VERY Afraid!

2009-09-12T18:37:00.022-04:00

Just back from the Mall in front of the U.S. Capitol and I am discouraged, dismayed and frightened. Most of you know where I stand on Obama and the Health Care Reform issue. I am a huge Obama supporter and a long time believer in the dysfunctionality of our insurance company run health care “system” and would prefer the “socialistic” systems of Canada, France, England, Germany and Japan to our inefficient, unfair, profit-driven health care mess.

Thursday I received an e-mail from the American Family Association – I have subscribed to several right wing groups just to keep up with their nefarious activities – about some 9-12 protest in DC on Saturday. Hadn’t heard anything about it until then but with a bit of research I discovered that Glenn Beck and some other right wingnuts had put out a call to action. I had decided that I would go down and check it out just to see what the deal was. I was thinking that since this whole thing hadn’t received any real publicity – nothing on CNN, nothing on MSNBC, nothing on the local networks, I thought maybe it would be like the summer “tea-bagging-parties” raucous, vicious but (gratefully) small.

Group of friends and my roommate and I went for breakfast this morning and I told them that I was going to go down and see what was happening. The others were off to see an exhibit of Russian, Persian and Ottoman Empire diplomatic “gifts” exchanged between the two empires between the mid-1500’s until the late 1700’s. The exhibit, which is at the Sackler Gallery of Asian Art, was in its last two days and since the Sackler is midway down the Mall we all walked together. (Odd group that we are – two Iranian men, one gay, one straight, one Lebanese lesbian woman, one African American gay man, and me, the lone gay former WASP).As we neared the U.S. Capitol Building I could hear someone speaking on a public address system with resounding cheers from a crowd. Gave me pause since having lived in DC for so long and having attended any number of protests and demonstrations, it sounded like a fairly large crowd responding to whatever the speaker was exhorting. It wasn’t until we crested the top of Capitol Hill (there really is one) and could see the grounds of the West Front of the Capitol that I could make out that there were many, many times the 500 or 1,000 folks I had guessed would attend this “tea-baggin”event. As we walked down Independence Avenue it became clear to me that there were 10’s of thousands of protestors in attendance and not the limited crowd I had assumed.

For some reason just the sight of gathered “mob”- as some of the placards read - made my blood boil. I told my friends that I was going to go to the rally/protest and that they should go on to the museum without me. I was looking for a fight and I told them I would be happy get arrested just so that I could feel as if I had done some small part to counter all this bullshit. So I waded into the right wing party-goers in my agitated state and had half a dozen confrontations with individuals of the assembled throng. There was one older guy sitting on a wall with a poster that read “No Government Run Health Care.” So I asked him if he wanted to get rid of Medicare, Medicaid and the VA Health Care System. He looked at me and said “No, I just don’t want Obama’s system.” And I replied “So then it’s because Obama is a Black man that you don’t want his system?” At which point one of his buddies stepped angrily toward me and loudly asked why I wanted to introduce race into the discussion? At which point I moved on. Nothing could have been clearer to me. It was Obama who was the issue, not health care. It is at this point that I stopped by a tee-shirt vendor to buy a Obama-Hope shirt that I proudly wore for the rest of my venture.

I had maybe half a dozen other “encounters” and what I took away from the individuals I “encountered with” is that their knowledge of the issues was non-existent. If I went beyond the slogans they didn’t know how to respond with anything more than other slogans. To a fault they were all polite, willing and ready to engage but had absolutely no frigging idea what they were talking about. This was a bit surprising to me, as a veteran of “get-in-there-and-mix-it-up” protests that were anything but less than “cordial” exchanges. They had been well-instructed, I thought.

As to the racial make-up of the “mob” – I saw two black men out of the tens of thousands of the mass of humanity there and one was a Lyndon LaRouche supporter. I have no explanation for the other guy. Asians and Asian Americans? None. Latinos? None. Native Americans? None. And I’m serious about this. Having been a minority in any number of groups I am always conscious of the racial and ethnic composition of any gathering I attend whether it’s a concert or protest. Surveying the crowd that was in attendance, they were white, white, white. (Trust me, this was a Clorox wet dream crowd!) It was truly quite frightening. In fact, judging by the people I spoke to and the flags in abundance it seems that Tennessee, North Carolina and South Carolina were the representative geographies in attendance.

But most disturbing was the atmosphere of abject ignorance that pervaded the air and the “managed” aspect of the whole sordid affair. As to the first, it shook me to the core that these folks, all patriotic Americans as they would describe themselves, had not a clue about what it was they were doing. Placards galore about “democracy,” “government out of our lives”, “no socialism,” etc. as if the Federal, state and local governments had no role in their lives, (id. the older guy who didn’t seem to understand that Medicare and the VA are government run systems). It isn’t often that I describe a crowd as “ignorant” but in this case, the ignorance was palpable. Not some judgment on my part, but very much an elemental component of the gathering. I’ve never felt this before.

As to the “managed” aspects of the gathering, it was crystal clear that this was no spontaneous outpouring of democracy in action. I saw only one “Obama = Nazi” poster, only two of the “Joker = Obama” placards, these two issues, I am assuming having been deemed out of bounds by the organizers of this event. I did see one “Go Back to Kenya” poster but the bulk of the placards fell into two main categories: Cost and Big Government. By far these were the two themes that pervaded the printed word carried proudly by these ignoramuses. These, as you know, are probably the two issues that could be considered legitimate issues in the health care reform “discussion” after Obama’s speech last Wednesday and it is very apparent that the money behind this demonstration had instructed the protesters that these were the two themes on which to concentrate and nothing else.

After an hour or so of this theater I had had enough. As my Lebanese friend and I were trudging back up to Capitol Hill to have a drink at a local bar (I really needed it) she said to me as I was grousing about how discouraging this farce of a movement was, “Yes, but this is democracy in action” she said. And she has a point I suppose. Everyone has the right to express their point of view in America. But I can’t help thinking that the media will cover the hell out of this event, which will then feed into the confusion and ambivalence that the majority of Americans feel about health care reform, and the right wing crazies will have won again.

I don’t think our founding fathers could have imagined the impact of the media on American society back in the 18th Century. And this is where our domestic wars are being fought. They are not being settled in the streets, they are being settled in the media. And this, I think, is where us liberals need an abject reality lesson in contemporary protest and mass movement techniques. The Republicans have put in place an efficient, wide reaching conglomeration of think tanks, media outlets and organizations upon which the right wing leadership can call upon when needed to sway our lily-livered representatives and public opinion. Democrats, maybe because they think this is too manipulative, have not created a countervailing force in American society. And we are seeing the results.

Obama’s very conservative, practical, and sensible health care reform proposals are being savaged by the right wing and their health care insurance buddies. And we can do nothing about it. We each sit in our living rooms and bemoan our fate as real, honest and sincere reform goes down in flames. Make no mistake about it, after my experience today I have no doubt that there will be no health care reform. If I had any money to bet (which I don’t) this is where I would put my money.

Should you be afraid? Yes, you should. Because if the right wing can derail health care reform, which has so many aspects that would be of great benefit to the general American public, what do you think is going to be the fate of gay rights when the right wing re-focuses their efforts on us again once they have destroyed the health care reform movement?

For the past couple of years I have been mystified by my mid-30’s friends who think that all that needs to be done in respect to gay rights has been done and there’s no need to rock the boat by being confrontational or taking to the streets. I think the folks who were with me today now understand that our “standing” in American society is tenuous at best and that we could easily be disenfranchised tomorrow. The health care reform effort has given the right wing a rejuvenating issue around which to coalesce after their disastrous showing in the last election. Once this is finished, they will move on to the other issues they love so much to push down America’s collective throat and that includes gay rights.

So, yes, I am afraid. I came away from this media event thoroughly dispirited. Even the protesters who passed us by as my friends and I were recovering in a local bar I just felt pity for. Such ignorance I can’t understand. Is this what America really is all about? Is this democracy when a well oiled interest group that obviously doesn’t give a shit about anything other than their own profits and Wall Street ratings derail what is a seminal moment in American history?

I thought that once we elected this smart, practical, eloquent man as President that we would begin to take back the country that we once knew before Ronald Reagan was elected in 1980. But I am discouraged now. And it’s no fault of Obama’s. He has been a seminal President and I think he will be considered one of the finest Presidents we’ve had in our short history. But I thought that since we had done the improbable, the unimaginable, the so far “out there” (electing a Black man as President of the United States of America) in expressing our view that we no longer wanted the manipulative, sleazy, un-democratic, fascist kind of government we had been subjected to for eight years ever again, that we had taken a stand. And I think this is true. But we had not counted on the power of the right wing. We are so behind the Republican Right Wing in our tactics, our strategies, our organization, our willingness to do “whatever it takes to win” that we are in great danger of falling backwards even further than we have over the past 30 years. I am very discouraged and very afraid. I’m not convinced that we haven’t lost it already. This is not democracy. This is rule by ignorance and deception. What can we do about it?

My Window On The World

2009-09-09T15:48:00.006-04:00

Was talking to a friend of mine in Orlando on my cell yesterday. She works for the Florida State Child and Family Services Administration and has horror stories you couldn’t make up. She also has great sense of humor. This is probably why she’s managed to stay sane after 20 years of dealing with abused and neglected children. But that’s another story. As we were talking, from my front window I spied a really good looking guy coming up the sidewalk. Late 20’s maybe early 30’s, not all that tall – maybe 5’8”, kind of brush-cut, sandy-reddish hair and a close beard of the same color. Well, not wanting to let an opportunity slip by, I zipped out my door and down the five steps in front of the building and was in position by the time he walked by. Nice looking guy. A bit of meat on his bones, which was very nice too.

So I’m still talking to my Florida friend, acting as if she had all my attention but giving a glance or two in his direction. Very discrete. Or so I thought. Well, as he approached me he gave me this big, warm smile and a big, friendly “Hi there.” Maybe I wasn’t being so discrete after all. You might think this is no big deal but if you were caught up in the Army draft lottery during the Viet Nam War you can’t know how flattering such a gesture is. Naturally, I gave him a bigger smile back and an even bigger “Hello!”

That’s what I like about my ratty, rent-controlled, residence on Capitol Hill. Across the street from me is a government office building which, I’m told by a friend of mine who works there, is a den of homosexual deviants, two blocks away is the Capitol Building (and you know what goes on in those “cloakrooms”), and although Capitol Hill is really one of the city’s most family-oriented neighborhoods, there’s plenty of “family” here too.

When the guy passed me by (no, I didn’t pursue him, dumb me!) and gone around the corner, my friend asked “What the hell was that about?” So I told her. You know what she said to me as she laughed here ass off? “You are such a horny old man. But I love you for it.”
It’s the small pleasures that are the treasures of the day. At least when you’re never going to see 50 again!

Those Rascal Saudi’s – Gotta Love ‘Em!

2009-09-07T08:01:00.028-04:00

Had coffee Saturday morning with a few friends of mine at our hangout couple blocks from me up on Pennsylvanian Avenue. Used to be a Bread and Chocolate but I guess the economy did them in or something because now it has a different name. Nice bunch of staff though, really friendly. Come to think of it there was this cute late 20-something young man I used to greet by wrapping my arms around but I haven’t seen him lately. Oh, well, another of life's small disappointments.

But our conversation eventually turned to the web sites we followed, the “mating” services we were members of, and what kind of porn we liked. Happened to mention that I had recently started a blog and was telling them that I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it or where to go. They asked me a bunch of questions about the “technical” aspects – yeah, like I know – posting pictures, videos, etc. and I was explaining about how there were all these “gadgets/widgets” or whatever they’re called that you could basically just plug into your site. “Oh”, David said “like those counter things that tell you how many people have visited your site and where they are from?”

Exactly! (This guy is very smart!) I was semi-joking with them that I am reluctant about putting one up on my blog since it probably would only make me depressed given my 0.4 visitors per day. (And this would by my friends at that.) But then it reminded me about a quasi-scientific study I’ve been undertaking for the past few months. Started when I was looking at the number of visitors to a very popular site I regularly visit. I mean this guy has visitors in the 500,000 range (I can only dream!) As I was watching the visitor counter scroll on, his amazing figures made me envious – US was first, Canada second, then Western European countries followed and then came – Saudi Arabia?????? Nahhhhhh I thought – that can’t be right. I mean even before Japan and Australia? (Which reminds me, I need to replenish my raggedy stock of AussieBum’s soon.)

Well, given my penchant for wanting to know the “facts” as opposed to bullshit (unlike the American Family Association, just to cite one example), I decided to approach my research scientifically. Admittedly it was a tough slog – I mean do you know how many truly wonderful sites there are out there? – Yeah you do! But let me tell, you - arch conservative Saudi Arabia, where woman can’t drive yet, repressive Saudi Arabia where “gay” only happens in other countries, hide-bound & religious Saudi Arabia -- yes, Saudi Arabian visitors to gay porn sites and gay blogs consistently rank just after sexy Italy and Great Briton. Go Figure!

So tell me, what the hell is up with that? Strange world we live in.

Ok, So Black Men Have Ass –Please Give Us A Break!

2009-09-05T23:28:00.019-04:00

What kind of fucked up, mutated, warped or otherwise “non-hetero” gene do we have that makes us lust after MALE cock and ass? I mean wouldn’t life just be a hell of a lot simpler if we loved pussy and tits (and ass, too, I guess – but FEMALE ass, thank you very much!) like our straight brothers? Tell me, how much time have you spent just wishing the hell that you could wake up one morning and everything would be “straight” so that you didn’t have to deal with this painful, traumatic, dumbass --- (Oh my beautiful, wondrous God- you should see the drop dead gorgeous young man who’s passing my “window on the world” right now!!! – this is the truth. I’d guess Middle Eastern, lovely dark olive complexion, about 5’10” tall, mid-to-late twenties, slim but with a nice padding of meat in the buttocks department, short cropped head and beard – excuse me a minute!!)

OK now that that’s done, let me continue. As I was saying we go through all this shit trying to figure out why we lust after guys and then, with any kind of luck, we finally – after how many years of agony, therapy, tears, therapy, angst, therapy, and then even more therapy/counseling? - accept our “condition” and move on to the nefarious world of “relationships” as we call our often totally fucked up efforts at trying to find “the one” who will make us never want to look at another man again. (Ok, so this is unrealistic maybe, but at least it does parallel the straight world, doesn’t it?) I envy those guys who knew that they were gay at maybe 14 or 15 or whatever and just never looked back. Cost them a hell of a lot less in medical bills. And just think of all the dick and ass they’ve had compared to me and my short, pitiful gay life. Oh, well, so it goes.

But somewhere there was a point I was trying to make. Oh, yeah, ass. You know I don’t want to be racist or demeaning nor would I ever want to “dis” any race, color, creed ethnicity, etc., etc., but show me a group of maybe 20 guys evenly divided between Black men and white men and you tell me – Who’s going to have the most beautiful asses? Yeah, of course!! We all know it. So help me with this gene stuff – are there any geneticists out there who might be able to develop some sort of gene therapy that could give us white guys a chance? Somehow rectify the flat, “please don’t embarrass me” qualities of our rear ends? I mean, come on, can’t someone out there figure out a cure for this? And don’t be shy – yes, I know you all don’t want the wife or your boss to know that you frequent gay male blogs (especially while you’re doing your VITAL national security research projects!), but please this is important. Can you lend a hand here? Besides, think of all the money you could make! Waiting to hear from you!

Have a good day everyone!!

Are We Less Than Fully “MALE?”

2009-09-03T15:49:00.041-04:00

Because we prefer dick to pussy are we somehow less then what our society defines as “male?” Well, sure, let’s not be Pollyannaish about it. Our society still sees us as deficient in the male gene or some male hormone or whatever and all it takes is a visit to the American Family web site get a feel for how hated we are among a large segment of our culture. But at base, what is it about us that is less “male?” How many guys do you know who are gay yet very masculine? Do gay men play rugby? Does our penchant for hugging and kissing as the preferred social greeting mean that we have diminished testosterone levels? And we all know the “built” guy who spends two hours a day, five days a week at the gym pumping himself up. Does he do this so that on the street no one will suspect that he is gay? We recognize him instantly, but I’m talking about our general society at large. They probably would not know that the muscled, ab-resplendant, crew cut paragon of masculinity they are passing on the sidewalk loves to be rimmed by some tall, thin, nerdy guy with a long dick. Go Figure!

But the question is, what is it about our maleness or "less-than-full-maleness" that distinguishes us from the rest of our heterosexual brothers? You know, I just don’t think it’s all that much. Do many of us dream about the 6 foot, lanky straight man that we just know, given one night, we could turn to the dark side? Yeah, and how many “straight” guys do you know (either in person or online) who are married yet play “gay” on the side safely out of the reach of the wife? We all know them. They are everywhere. Certainly here in DC.

So I ask you, is the whole “masculine,” “maleness” thing just another tag on us that we have been forced to accept as a semi-valid definition of who we are as men and as human beings? Sure there are our “queens” (God love them), there are the faggy boys who are forever in some drama zone, or the Daddies who are into leather and fisting – but when you think about it, we gay men actually cover a much broader range of what we might call “masculinity” than our straight brethren. As far as I’m concerned, we represent what the “new maleness” is all about in the 21st. Century. Personally, I honestly don’t give a shit about what level of masculinity my friends might be at. I have a lovely, young Salvadoran friend who does drag shows at night. During the day he works at a retail store and no one would ever suspect that he loves dressing up as a woman at night.

So this, it seems to me, is where we are in the gay community. We are simply men and as “male” and as “masculine” as anybody else. Additionally, I would posit that we are in the vanguard of what it means to be a man: sensitive, caring, loving and accepting. We should celebrate this. We are the new masculinity! And if the rest of our lame society doesn’t get it, well, then just fuck ‘em!

They’ll come around in the end!

Rimming – The Joy, The Pleasure, The Ecstasy

2009-09-03T00:22:00.012-04:00

Been trying to convince a friend of mine that rimming is one of the more “sublime” of sexual pleasures that men engage in (Yeah, I know there are a lot of heterosexual couples who embrace the practice). So far he’s not buying it. Not that I’m going to give up, mind you, since I am a huge fan of rimming, but he sees it as “unclean” or “dirty” and I keep telling him - he’s a top - “Hey, you engage in anal intercourse and do you think that’s somehow all that different from running your tongue around some guy’s rose hole?” I guess it is but as improbable as it might seem (What? you get off on some guy tonguing your asshole?) I find it one of the most sensuous of sexual intimacies I’ve ever experienced. I know it’s not for everyone. (Am I wrong here?) Don’t know about you but it is one of my favorite pastimes especially with someone who knows what they’re doing. I suppose having a nice, thick, long tongue helps too but I think technique is probably more important.

Just in case you’re unfamiliar with the practice ( ☺ ) here’s the Wikipedia definition of rimming:

Anal–oral sex, also referred to or described as anal–oral contact or anilingus (from anus + lingus (Latin Lingere: to lick)), also spelled analingus, is a form of oral sex involving contact between the anus or perineum of one person and the mouth (lips) or tongue of another. Non-clinical, slang terms include rimming, rim-job, salad tossing, butt licking and eating ass. It is performed by people of all sexual orientations. Depending upon the context in which it is performed, this sex act can either be used for personal pleasure among consenting parties or as a form of erotic humiliation.

Ok so not the best of resources maybe but not bad, I’m thinking. But what are the risks associated with analingus? Again, Wikipedia:

There are many health problems that can result from practicing unsafe anilingus, because of the presence of bacteria, viruses or parasites on or in the anus or rectum. These include Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, intestinal parasites, chlamydia, polio, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, conjunctivitis, and other sexually transmitted diseases.[4] Applying the mouth to the genitals immediately after applying it to the anus can inadvertently introduce the bacterium Escherichia coli ("E. coli") into the urethra, leading to a urinary tract infection. HIV/AIDS is not believed to be easily transmitted through anilingus, although experts assert that there is a risk of acquiring HIV from anilingus.[5]

Here’s the only entry from About.com concerning rimming:

Rimming or anilingus is a popular gay sex act, but the anus carries bacteria and many other parasites. So, no matter how clean your partner looks, use a barrier like a dental dam or cut and stretch a condom over the anus to avoid contact with your mouth or tongue.

OK, so it looks like you can get most of the shit (pardon!) that you can get from all the other “nasty” things that men do with each other. Protection? Call me naïve or ignorant but I don’t know anyone who uses “dental dams” for anything, much less rimming. And why not? Ummmmm……. might have something to do with the fact that dental dams just don’t cut it when it comes to stimulating those all important nerve endings. I suppose the primary rule for rimming is to “be clean.” If someone offers you his ass I think the ass-umption is that he’s prepared, just like with anal/dick sex. So whatever you call it – rimming, tossing salad, analingus, butt licking or eating ass – I’m just down with it - both giving and receiving. And as far as I’m concerned, whether White Ass, Latin Ass, Black Ass, Old Ass, Young Ass, Asian Ass – don’t matter to me. Just bring it ALL on!!!!

As for my friend, well, I’ll keep working on him. Maybe some sort of probing scientific demonstration might help. I’m willing. I would really hate to see him miss out.

Ted Kennedy: The End Of The Line

2009-08-26T13:37:00.006-04:00

I’ve run into Senator Kennedy a few times over the years, although I certainly didn’t know him. But I recall once on a shuttle flight (probably long-defunct Eastern Airlines) from LGA to DCA I sat next to him and we had a very nice chat. Surprisingly he was alone – no staffers, no bodyguards, just him. I hated to bother the Senator – he did look tired and it was early evening - but I couldn’t help but introduce myself. The man was just so gracious and friendly. Asked me about my work, where I lived, family – we exchanged a couple of dog stories and a host of other less-than-earthshakingly-important chit-chat – as one typically does when strangers are thrown together temporarily. Told him how much I admired him and the work he was doing in the Senate. So sad that he’s gone. We will sorely miss him. Hope he is with his brothers now.

Barebacking: The New Cool?

2009-08-24T14:47:00.000-04:00

Last week was a crazy week; a crazy, scary week. Got a frantic call from a good friend of mine who told me that some guy he met a month ago told him that he was HIV+ and they had been having unprotected sex. Of course I was both livid and hurt since I’d been “mentoring” this young man for quite some time and we’d had any number of conversations about this very issue. Then I saw a post on one of the sites I check daily about the same type of phone call. Then, as it happened, I went up to Dupont Circle on Friday to see a friend of mine and as we were chatting in his shop he starts telling me that his young and handsome ex just told him that he’d been having un-protected sex too. Shit, I thought to myself, what the hell is going on? Some confluence of cosmic forces, maybe? Because my friend, Jim, owns a store that caters to a gay clientele he’s a bit more up to the moment than I am when it comes to all things gay and he has been telling me for several years now that young gay men are having more and more bareback sex. He, like me, is deeply concerned about this state of affairs (if it’s true) and also bewildered at what appears to be a growing phenomenon.

This past week my thoughts kept coming back to this situation and wondering why it it is that young gay men would risk their lives by barebacking? Don't they know how dangerous it is? Ok, I could understand it if they are partnered, they’ve both gone to a doctor or local clinic and got tested together, remain monogamous and, sure, everything is George. But, as far as I can tell – and certainly if my young friend is any indication – this is not what’s happening.

We’ve had 30 years of “leadership” in this country that, beginning with Ronald “The Great Communicator” Reagan who chose to ignore HIV-AIDS and empanelled religious right-wing types who claimed that you could get the virus from wet towels, to a less than full scale frontal attack on both public education about AIDS and funding for its eradication today. Statistics show that 33 million people worldwide are currently infected with the AID’s virus, it’s killed an estimated 2+ million men, women and children, is considered a worldwide pandemic and there is STILL no cure. What the hell is going on in the minds of these beautiful young men? Are they crazy?

It occurs to me that most of the young men I’m referring to weren’t born in the early 1980’s or were too young to be sexually active. What this means, I’m thinking, is that they have no knowledge of that horrible period starting around 1980 when gay men were dying mysteriously and rapidly like fragile moths in a flame of fire and no one knew why. Suffice to say that the both the political and religious communities were not, shall we say, sympathetic to the plight of a small, perverse, immoral community among the larger society. Divine retribution was their watchword back then and it still is, in large part. But those of us who watched friends waste away in pain, in agony, in suffering so unimaginable – and die horrible deaths - will never forget. Never. Ever.

I have several friends who are HIV+ and, thank God, they are doing well with newer drugs and better treatments. In fact, one of my best friends has been HIV+ for over 30 years but it still worries me (and him) when he gets a cold or overly tired. But the nightmare memories of “those” days will never fade for me. And I suspect it is the same for any of us who lived through those times. It really was hell on earth.

As an aside, we should all be grateful for the The National Institutes of Health and the folks there who isolated the virus in the mid-80’s which then lead to the development of the drugs used to counter its effects. I say this very much with our current health care reform “effort” in mind and the dropping of the “public option.” NIH is a government agency and one that has consistently been at the forefront of medical research for years. How many more millions of HIV-AID’s victims would have died since the 1980’s if it hadn’t been for them?

So who’s going to be responsible for making sure we protect the youngsters among us? Our schools? Our religious institutions? Our local governments? I don’t think so. HIV-AID’s education and prevention is not quite there yet. I think that it is up to each one of us to make sure that our younger brothers and sisters are educated about HIV-AIDS and safe sex practices and maybe we can help one youngster to understand barebacking just isn’t worth the risk. Did all my “education” work for my friend? No, it didn’t. Thank God his initial results were negative but there are still the long-term results we have to wait for. But even so I’m not going to stop trying. Our young men are just too valuable and each one deserves to live a long, full life free from the scourge of HIV-AIDS. Sorry for being preachy but this is just way too important.

"You Are Such A Slut!"

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This is my roommate responding to my slightly edited description of my date last night as we dress for work “Yes, I know,” I reply. “But at least I’m an “equal opportunity slut”, thank you very much! Asshole!!”

I love my roommate. He’s in his mid-thirties, sports a kind of modified “thuggie” look but, in truth, has a heart of pure gold. I owe him a lot including my sanity but, then, he owes me a lot too since I’ve helped him out of any number of his personal jams. He’s constantly threatening to throw me up against the wall (a threat he has delivered on a couple of times but with no serious injuries) for my constant nagging at him to get his act together, finish his frigging courses for his master’s degree, do his homework and to stop leaving all those curly black pubic hairs of his in the bathtub. But I digress.

It’s the “equal opportunity” thing that I’ve been thinking about lately. I don’t have a “type” – bear, twink, daddy, thug, Asian, Black, Latin, phat, - in my choice of friends and lovers. Not sure why really, although I guess five years at an “Historically African America

n University,” couple of years living in West Africa, a whole lot of business travel to

Asia, Africa and the Middle East, might have something to do with it.

I’m always a bit surprised when gay men proclaim that they only date “daddies” or they only like men “under 30” or are only “into” bears. For me, this seems so self-limiting. I mean I grew up in white suburbia – Greece, NY to be exact, a suburb of Rochester (home to Kodak where my father worked) – so I pretty much know what white suburban life is all about. So why would I limit my life experiences to people I already know fairly well? I have one close friend, Eric, whom I met last year. He also grew up in Rochester (we both fled as soon as we could, he to Miami, me to DC) and we share lots of stories about our common “heritage” as it were, but he also dates a broad range of “types” of men as I do.

A few years ago I was leading a team of architects and engineers in Harare, Zimbabwe, and our hosts were American expats. After work one day, they invited my group to a local club

that, they informed us, “all the expat community patronized,” as if this was some sort of badge of respectability. As the team leader I couldn’t really refuse although I was not at all interested in clubbing since I was tired and had tons of field notes to record. But as we were about to leave that night after dinner, one of my young engineers, about 27 or 28, begged off saying he wasn’t feeling well. Next morning at breakfast I asked him if he was feeling better. He looked at me quizzically and asked “What do you mean?” “Well, last night you didn’t want to go to the club because you weren’t feeling well,” I replied. He laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry. No, I was feeling fine but I didn’t think it would be worth my while to have come halfway around the world to do something that I could do anytime back home in Houston.” I smiled at him. I knew what he meant.

So that’s how I feel. Or what I believe. As an older “gentleman” (my roommate’s epithets notwithstanding) I don’t want to become stuck in some sort of mental gated community where I encounter only that which I already know. What’s the point? Maybe it would be safe, or comfortable, or even less stressful but, in truth, I think it would just be BORING! There is just so much to discover in this world and so little time left. My motto? “Bring ‘em ALL on!!”

And just so you don’t think I discriminate against my own kind, I did meet met a guymy age a few months back who’s a 30 year practitioner of Buddhism and he’s invited me to accompany him on a weeklong retreat to a Buddhist monastery in Nepal next spring. Hey, am I thinking seriously about his offer? You bet I am. Why the hell not? Just have to come up with the cash somehow.

So yes, in my roommate’s words, I do think of myself as a “slut” - at least in the cultural sense. But I couldn’t be happier about it. And if I continue my daily workouts at the gym down the block, the next time he threatens to throw me against the wall I’m going to have to pin his ass to the floor. Well, OK, that may be wishful thinking on my part.

Peace and Love

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This site is intended to appeal to a gay male audience and may include topics and photographs that may not be suitable for viewing by those under the age of 18 or whatever the age of majority is in your jurisdiction. Be aware of the laws in your jurisdiction and abide by them. I make no apologies for the content contained in this blog since it is a reflection of the world we all live in.

Why I'm Doing This

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This site is intended to be a place where gay men of any race, any religion, any ethic origin, any color, ANY BLOODY THING YOU MIGHT BE, are both welcomed and encouraged to participate. While I am am an unrepentant Liberal (radical, if you must) I respect the opinions of others until I can show you how wrong you are. But later for that. As for me I have no "type" that I'm interested in as many gay men are, but simply looking for honest, forthright men who can challenge me. Well, as a middle aged "Daddy" there is that fantasy of finding a young (22 -29 year old) young stud who is going to make me happy for the rest of my life. It is my top agenda item but without success for the time being. So life goes on.

Other than that anything goes. I encourage you to submit whatever is on your mind today. After all it is the only day that you have to work with, isn't it?